reactivated in 2015

10:49pm

I meant to start this about an hour ago but I got distracted by con air. ha. I’ve seen that movie so many times but it still pulls me in. Silly old movies.

Work today was alright. Not as productive as I would have liked, but I still got a few things marked off the list. Mostly organizing a box, running info for a client, and taking care of some insurance garbage at the last minute.

After work we hit the farmer’s market for the first time. It’s been going on for probably a few years but they always do it during this time. It’s also always on Wednesdays which happen to coincide with our work days. We’re always too lazy/tired to go after work but today we made an exception. Interesting thing. Small, like only a half block of stands, but it was alright. A few people here and there. Not really anyone I knew except a neighbor and a couple random people. One guy was staring at us and said hi to Mom but she can’t remember who he is. hah. At first we were thinking it was a client but I don’t remember him at all and I’m pretty good at that stuff. Especially because he was good looking for an older guy with brightly colored eyes. I always remember the eyes. haha.

Oh well though. It’ll come to her eventually, I’m sure. There wasn’t anyone I felt like totally avoiding, so that was good. We were going to try some wine samples but the poor little stand was off in a corner all by its lonesome. We didn’t want to stand there drinking and just staring at each other. So we just picked up a loaded baked potato [which turned into dinner] and some corn on the cob.

We’re trying to put our faces out there more in the community. Maybe pick up some more work to cover our expenses. Like tomorrow we’re scheduled to attend a chamber of commerce luncheon. Yeah… never expected to be saying that. heh. But they’re talking about some new PTO laws and we should probably know about that stuff. I just hope they feed me something good. ;) And it’ll benefit the company to have us running around with the fancy folk in town.

You want to know how good my luck is? Well, I’ll tell you: I wrote that entry last night, right? [how did I even pull off such a coherent entry? lol] I mentioned the whole CK thing and how I’m trying to decide how I want to go about it in case we ever run into each other. Totally on the fence about the whole situation. But it does get easier the longer he stays gone.

So I get onto fb today and I like to poke through the suggested friends tab. Yes, I’ve mentioned how it’s gotten me into trouble before but I’m way more cautious now. =) Anyway, the first set of suggestions pops up and guess who’s half-way down the list?
Yup. Ck.

Out of nowhere! Because he deactivated his account a while ago. He actually told me he was going to do it and it’s been completely gone. Now all of a sudden it is back on and it’s in my suggested friends tab and it’s freakin’ haunting me! I swear I have the best luck! I say things and then this kind of stuff happens. Where I’m trying so hard not to take it as a sign. I’m horrible about reading too much into things. You all know this! And it just keeps happening to me, especially in regards to this specific situation.

Like what kind of crazy coincidence is it that it’s suddenly reactivated? Not only that but fb insists on suggesting him as a friend to me. That’s too much. I don’t like the reminders. I don’t like not being able to completely let go.

Although, in semi-good news, I didn’t feel very much when I saw it. I mean, I laughed a little that it happened to be right there among the first handful of people. Not much more than that though. He’s there. We’re still not talking. He may or may not make an attempt to come back into my life. I still can’t figure out if I’m so attached to him because of what happened at the very beginning, or just because he’s the only one that’s shown even a faint amount of interest in a long time. I’m always sorta leaning towards the latter but I don’t know. It’s hard to convince myself to settle down and stop over-thinking everything. It makes it all seem so much more than it is. Because if I were really into it then I would probably feel a lot more at the sight of his picture.

I guess it’s always been kinda complicated. I’ve tried so hard to be his friend and he couldn’t decide if he was into the idea or not. Plus there haven’t been that many people in my life since I moved back home. He was the first person in like three years that I would have even considered as a friend. So maybe that’s why I’m stuck. I just wish I could figure it out before I actually have to decide on a course of action. It probably involves making new friends to get over this one though. =\

We all know how good I’ve been at that plan..

rose.
11:18pm

Last updated August 31, 2015