8:00 PM
So today I have been in a good mood, I haven’t had to see my step dad at all since he is in the hospital and my mom is feeling better. I really didn’t like having to go to therapy today but I got alot off my shoulders and talked about the problems with my mom and step dad, and since I was in a good mood I also did a lot of bragging about my manipulative skills. We did a review of some stuff and it turns out I haven’t made much progress when it comes to dealing with my depression, triggers, anger etc. but to me it doesn’t matter I see myself as too damaged anyway. We talked about a separation issue I have when it comes to people, for example my two friends I made swimming when they left I told her about how it felt like I lost them entirely and so I learned some new things. After that I went to the store with my mom and out to eat we went. We went to a Mexican place and I had a very large burrito and it satisfied me. we came home and I did pretty much nothing else besides watching some documentaries.
My mother and I talked about the issue with my step father and I needed further assurance she was on a similar page as I am. They are talking but I used my manipulative skills and got what I needed from her. I asked her if we didn’t need the money, would she still be married to him and she said probably not which satisfied me a lot and I also asked if she even wanted to go up to the hospital to see him (he had knee surgery) and she said no but she would anyway. That’s about it.
Right now I feel a little bit down so I think I will enter in a darker picture.
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