Survey. in For Public Consumption

Stolen from my old OD friend, sugar.

1-Sex is best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
You know, it really depends. Things work sporadically for me, so....

2-What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Right.

3- Pork, Beef, or Chicken?
I enjoy porcine delights.

4-Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
Um, not when I was driving, thankfully. When someone else was, yes.

5-What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on?
Left.

6-Candles or Incense?
Candles

7-Do you dance when no one is watching?
I used to work overnights; there were so many times when I was awake, and nobody else was to watch.

8-Did you play doctor when you were little?
Not that I recall.

9.-Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
I think I can count one finger the number of people who’d like to see that. So, no.

10-Stove top cooking or microwave?
I could totally live without a microwave.

11-Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?
I own neither, so I can’t really answer this....

12-Shower or bath?
It used to be baths mainly, but, since I’ve lived at normal times, I’ve gone to showers. When I’m home, I also tend to shave in the shower, too.

13-Do you pee in the shower?
Only when I’m not blowing snot rockets.

14-Mexican or Chinese food?
Mexican.

15- Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I don’t take a lot of initative, so....

16-Do you love someone?
More than I ever thought was possible.

17-Do you own sex toys?
Um, that’s not anybody’s business.

18-Corn Dogs or Hot Dogs?
It really depends. Either is great with catsup.

19- Your favorite restaurant?
With all due respect to my friends in the restaurant biz, I’d have to go with The Ten Top in Norfolk.

20- What did you have for lunch today?
Bacon.

21-Which do you prefer, iceberg or romaine lettuce?
Really depends on the application.

22- When did you last fall down?
I verify gravity’s function on a regular basis; what are you, my neurologist? But, last week.

23-Have you ever wished someone were dead?
Not that I can remember.

24-Love or money?
Love

25- Credit cards or cash?
Amex. I miss earning and traveling enough to justify having a Platinum card.

26-Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn’t?
Not that I can think of.

27-Oreos or Vanilla Wafers?
Is there banana pudding underneath those vanilla wafers? If not, Oreos.

28-How do you like your steak cooked?
If it’s a good steak, rare/medium-rare. If it’s not a good steak, I’ll have chicken.

29-How do you like your eggs cooked?
I like them fertilized, fully-developed. Why eat a half-chicken, when the developed one tastes so much better?

30-Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in a fight?
If playing football counts, yes.

31-Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
Hotel.

32-Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery?
I really don’t know.

33-Would you shave your entire body including your head?
I’d look sick, but sure.

34-Would you rather have lice or an STD?
Nope.

35-What is your favorite hard candy?
Starlight peppermints.

36-Ever been to a strip club?
I live in Navyland, and my best fried from high school was in the military; what do you think?

37-Ever been to a bar?
They don’t have those in the Commonwealth of Virginia. And you must buy all your liquor from the Commonwealth.

38-Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
I don’t remember it all that well, but I remember being part of a group who were asked to GTFO.

39-Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Nope.

40-Thrown up from drinking too much?
It’s been a long time, but, yes.

41-Had sex in the car?
Yes.

42-Had sex on the beach?
Nope.

43-Had sex in a bathroom?
Since the shower is normally there....

44-Had sex at work?
Not that I recall.

45-Have you ever been in an “adult” store?
Yes.

46- Bought something from an adult store?
Yes.

47-Have you spent over $200.00 in one visit to the adult store?
When I was frequenting those sorts of places, I didn’t have that much to spend.

48-Is there anyone other than your significant other that you would ever consider having sex with?
I’m okay with never having sex with anybody else.

49-Have you been caught having sex?
Not this millennium, no.

50-Have you ever kissed a stranger?
College.