15-08.01.127 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Bow Chicka Bow Wow and Wuba Luba Dub Dub to you all!

Holy cow, I woke up at 5 am this morning because I was so worried about my wife’s schedule. Of course, I went back to sleep because if I actually woke my wife up at 5 in the morning… she’d hit me repeatedly!! Instead, I went back to sleep after specifically setting my alarm to Wife’s schedule.

I’ll admit… it didn’t go perfectly. I was trying to get her out the door by 10:40 pm for her 11 shift… she got out by around 10:50. Not bad, but certainly not on time! And the whole experience made me feel like a parent to my own wife. “OKay sweetie… what do you still need to do before you feel like you can leave?” at EVERY turn. GOD! Honestly… I did not get married to become a father!!

After I got her on her way, it was Raid Time! But… without the exclamation point. Because we still didn’t beat the raid. We got our ass kicked. And, true to form, I took a shot every time the team wiped. So… here’s the truth… when the group disbanded at 6 pm… I was ready for bed. And I DID hit the sack. To be woken up by my wife around midnight. Why did she wake me up? To yell at me for being in bed “too early”. Then… things got interesting.

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Oh my God!!! So… my wife loves watching medical shows. No worries. But she watches Sex Sent Me to the ER. No problems. Except… it would be important to remember the following:
(1) When I was 10 years old, it was discovered that I had testicular torsion in both testicles. Honestly… my entire scrotal sack was PURPLE. The doctors said I was hours away from never being able to experience puberty due to complete testicular death. So… yeah, I know what it means to have pain in a sexual area!!
(2) Even if I didn’t… my fibromyalgia certainly makes pain a daily experience for me. Honestly… for fuck’s sake… while I write this I am almost to tears because of the pain in my legs, back, and shoulders. The only reason why I’m not in tears is because.... I grew up this way… I have no concept of a life that doesn’t include this constant and soul-crushing pain at every hour. Typically… I use it to emphasize my empathy. Nothing teaches empathy QUITE like constant agonizing pain.

But Wife and I are watching “Sex Sent Me to the ER” one of Wife’s favorite shows.... and… there are NUMEROUS stories about women experiencing pain during sex. After the third hour of these stories… I decided… fuck this! Oh… sex hurts you… that does honestly suck… but being alive hurts me… and my wife refuses sex at all times… so, I admit… like an ass… I started mocking the women who were having pain during sex. WIFE BLEW THE FUCK UP!

I tried to figure out if this was one of those cases where she explodes because it hits close to home but… she just continues to say she’s furious because I was acting like an ass. Yeah. I get it. If I was “Joe Schmoe” regular dude… mocking any woman experiencing pain in any way would make me a dickhead. I agree with that. BUT considering that I almost lost BOTH of my testicles and experience constant excruciating physical pain… no. I don’t feel bad for the woman that put a 30 RPM power drill into her vagina. And considering how sexually repellent my wife is… why does she care so much for some idiot on a fictional program compared to her husband?

I’ll be honest. At first… it was shock. But as her anger continues… it hurts more. No, I am not going to experience moving sympathy for assholes who get injured during sex.... why? Gosh. Maybe it is because every sexual request I have gets rejected instantly. MAYBE it is because I honestly don’t know what life is like without life-altering pain. Or maybe it is because a fictional 57 year old has a more fulfilling sex life then I do!

Here is (honestly) my biggest issue… why is my wife, who can NOT for the life of her understand other people, rush to support women who make bad choices while being incapable of understanding my personal situation. I’ll be honest… it is situations like this that make me think.... maybe she’s not autistic.. maybe she’s just a bitch!