At a crossroad... What do I do!? in A New Beginning to an Old Story.
- Nov. 27, 2013, 11:01 a.m.
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- Public
So after a whole night of silencing me out, my boyfriend text me this morning from work. He's on the verge of leaving. He called me a cheater and a liar. He told me that I've broken every ounce of trust he has for me and I've hurt him more than he knew possible. Then he asks me what I want?
I don't know. I love him, and without him I feel lost and broken but there's obviously a reason I keep fucking up. Why I feel this need to be emotional with other people, to flirt and hear them tell me things. Aside from the fact that i'm an insecure fuck lately. I've felt so lost and need to hear sweet things. Need to feel loved. I've lost everything lately. I have nothing left except my boyfriend and my best friend, who I just flirted with hardcore and shared emotional words with, so now.. i'm going to lose one of them.
I don't know what to do, I don't know how to feel.
I need a drink. To mask my emotions because I'm SO SICK OF FEELING!! :(
One Angry Dwarf ⋅ November 27, 2013
Uggggh, SUCK. There's never an easy answer, is there?
I feel like insecurity might be the source of a lot of this junk. You feel insecure, so you find flattery/ego boost/emotional comfort elsewhere. He feels insecure, so he searches for signs that you want someone else more than him. Cue EMOTIONSPLOSION and now everyone feels even less secure and it's basically Sucktown, USA.
Maybe that needs to be a part of the conversation--if you're even at the point where you want to have conversations about it anymore. That like... you're both doing things that means you're not feeling secure in the relationship, and why could that be?
FUCK IF I KNOW, you've seen all my relationship bullshit lately, lulz.