A storm. in Thoughts.

Its been storming pretty badly here the past few days. I’ve gotten a flash flood warning alert on my phone the past three days.

One day at work, a manager was making sure all of the flashlights worked, just in case. :O.

It was all pretty silly.

I love storms. I’m sad that I’ve been working or sleeping through all of them. I like to go outside in them. I like to walk in puddles. I like the feel of the water between my toes. I like the feeling of freedom I experience when it’s just me and a storm. When I let go of my self control and over thinking, dress down to a minimum and allow myself to get soaked. From head to toe.

I like water. I like to swim, but I haven’t because I hate swim suits. I hate being self conscious. I hate always finding reasons to point out flaws to myself. I’m tired of degrading myself. I’m tired. But it’s still an impulse of mine. It’s one I need to work on daily.

It’s not enough to eat daily to nourish my body. It has to go soul deep. And I deserve to be proud of my accomplishments. And to love myself. It’s so much easier said than done.

I’m working on it.

Yesterday I bought 4 new pairs of pants. It was a necessity. My pants were too large. I’d lost 35lbs since buying them. So I’m down 1-2 sizes depending on style/material. So now I’ll have a few pairs for work and a few pairs for social situations. :). It’ll be nice to have work specific ones since I haven’t the past 4+ months. No more ruining my good pants :)

Tomorrow I’m getting my hair cut. And I’m contemplating dying it again… We will see. As far as hair style? I have no idea. I’m going to ask the stylist for his suggestion. But I’m leaning towards a completely different style than what I have now. (Long and straight and damaged hahahaha)

I’ve only had one haircut in the past two years. So this is definitely a necessity as well. Plus it’ll hopefully be confidence boosting. I need all the help I can get.

That’s all for now.

Hope you all are well.
becca