The first few days as a Mommy has been quite a rollercoaster. I have to say that the nurses are the hospital (mostly those in the Labor and Delivery unit) were AMAZING. I had some amazing people that helped to take care of me and I really miss them. I know, who would have thought I would say that. I had this woman Jean who was a little bit weird, 3 days in a row. She was very loving and caring though. Funny story....the first time I got the balloon to dilate me, the speculum that they used was HUGE and I cried as they were putting it in. Well, I find out later that they call that speculum "Big Bertha." Anyways, as I am in tears as they are putting it in me, she leans over and says, "Pretend its a penis!" I said, " I dont want one of those in me right now either!" This is funny because Jean is probably in her late 60s. Another funny story is that when I had the cervadil in me it was burning to pee. I also kept peeing and I couldnt get it out. By the time that morning came to take it out they asked me to explain the burning and I said, "It burns like I had a lot of sex, but I promise I didnt!" My nurse (I think it may have been Jean that morning) and Dr. Wessman thought that was funny. Once I got it out, the burning was gone.
So, Piper was born at 10:36. Somehow my gown disappeared immediately (I still dont know who took it away), but she was placed on my chest and we just looked at each other. I talked to her and snuggled with her for probably 1 1/2 hours. I did not want to let her go. At one point towards the end of that they did take her away for a second to do her apgar stuff and weigh and measure her. They wiped her off and brought her right back. The nurse that was with me through the end of labor and delivery is Melissa and she is amazing. She was such a wonderful cheerleader and just what I needed to do the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. The poor thing also had to clean me up afterwards which I am sure was not a fun or easy job. I think we got to my post partum room around 2 maybe and Piper came back to us a little while later. I think I slept from maybe 3:30-5:30 that night. It was such an unbelievable crazy night full of love.
Monday morning Heather and Jamie came to visit around 9 maybe. In the afternoon my Mom came which was WONDERFUL. She had a doctors appt at noon and drove up after that. My Moms friend Sonia (who has known me since before I was born) came too. Heather and her Mom and the kids came back too. It was busy for a little bit but then everyone left. That night I was alone in the hospital. Sal came back to the house to sleep with the dogs. Tuesday Heather came by around 11 and then a couple of friends from work came around 6. And Wednesday Heather was with me a lot. She was with me a lot through the whole induction process too. Such an amazing friend. My mood in the hospital was great. I had visitors, the nurses were there to help with my nursing questions. They checked my bleeding and nipples every day. I was just on cloud 9 with everything going on. So happy.
We got out on Wednesday afternoon and I went to Heathers for a little while while Sal shuffled cars so that I didn't have to drive. We got back to our house around 6 I think and I just lost it. Everything just clicked at the same time. They were sending us home from the hospital with a newborn baby. A tiny baby that I have no idea how to take care of. Also, my Mom was supposed to have her surgery to remove an ovary that day. They found a cyst on it and wanted to remove the ovary. Well, turns out that that was actually a tumor that had cancerous cells. So, they ended up doing a full hysterectomy. It was a long night waiting to hear news about her and how she was doing. We still dont have pathology results on the rest of the body parts but we are hoping and praying that the cancer is gone and she wont need treatment.
So, since Wednesday I have been quite an emotional basket case. I am up and down, smiling and then crying. I feel overwhelmed and a little bit trapped (which is weird because I didnt feel that way when I was on bed rest). I am hoping that with time this gets better, hopefully soon. I am going to talk to the OB office on Monday about it and I will make an appt soon with my counselor. I want to make sure these feelings dont turn in to post partum depression.
Alright, that is all for now. I will be back soon!
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