Life is unfair. Just when everything is going good. When life seems to be going the way it’s suppose to. When my husband is on his way to real and true happiness.
Life comes crumbling down. One nasty blow and everything is shit. My husbands boss fired him today. For a shitty stupid reason. It’s like they were looking for a reason, it’s like they found out about the transition or something and were looking for any reason.
My husband is heartbroken, he’s falling apart. He’s in the psych ward because he is so far gone at the moment. He feels so bad, he feels like he’s failed his family, let us down. NO he was let down, he was wronged.
What is so wrong with wanting to be happy, with wanting to be yourself? With supporting and taking care of your family. What is wrong with people these days!? I am so upset, so sad, so scared, so worried. I have no idea how to comfort him. I have no idea how to comfort my kids. I have no idea how to comfort myself. I feel like I’m just going to fall apart.
Maybe I’ve failed this family, maybe it’s MY fault. I haven’t had a job in almost 10 years, K supports us 100%. No one seems to want to hire me even when I do try because I don’t have job skills.
I was going to school, but I can’t afford the monthly payment now so I had to cancel it and well, that’s that.
Our credit cards will now go down the hole and our credit scores will be even more screwed up.
Why when life is going good, does something so awful have to happen? I know they say everything happens for a reason, whats the reason now? We just want to be happy :( we just want to not have to worry about how we’re going to pay bills, or feed our kids. So many promises I’ve made the kids, I have to take them all back. I have to break their hearts. Maybe I just shouldn’t promise anything.
They are all so sad, Daddy isn’t here. I’m sad, I just want to curl into a ball and cry. I need my husband here, I need to wrap myself up in his arms and talk until we’re too exhausted to talk anymore. I want to let him know I’m not mad at him, I do not blame him. I love him with every part of my being, and I know we will get through this… one way or another....
-Mindy
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