It’s really hard to sleep without my husband here. We’ve lived together for nearly 9 years and in those 9 years have only spent about 2 weeks total apart. Once for a business trip he had and once when I was in the hospital. It’s rough, I suffer from insomnia anyway but at least when he’s in bed next to me I rest.
My Daughter woke up at 3am yesterday and started crying because Daddy wasn’t in bed with us, she wanted to know where he was and when I reminded her she wanted to know when he was coming home. She’s 3 1/2 and doesn’t really quite understand why we can’t just go get Daddy and bring him home. I told her he isn’t feeling well and needs to get better at the hospital but she said she could put a bandaid on his booboo and he’d be better. Gosh she just really tugs at my heart strings!
My eldest son is really taking it hard too, each night now he’s come to my room and told me he’s scared and can’t sleep because Daddy isn’t here. And I tell him it’s okay that I’m here, and Mimi is here, and Grandma and his Aunt Jessie are here and there is nothing to be scared of. Tonight he was complaining about his legs hurting- growing pains I assume.
The person who has been keeping me company the most and keeping me sane is 5 hours ahead of me time wise and had to sleep and go to work, so I’ve just been watching True Blood until I’m tired enough to get some sleep, once morning is here at least I can clean and have the kids to distract me. But once they’re sleeping it’s all pretty much hell, all I have time to do is think and think, and none of it’s good right now. I’m trying to remain positive, everything happens for a reason right?
I’m going to see if I can get a ride to the Aldis up the road and apply there, they’ve been hiring for a while for cashiers starting at $10.40 an hour it isn’t much compared to what my husband made but it’s better then nothing and hire then most places around here start you out. I haven’t had a job in nearly 10 years so I can only pray that someone will hire me so I can help ease this time for us.
It’s frustrating because everything is broken or breaking at the worst possible time. Washer, Car, Fan for my son, toaster, vacuum. Some of its small and some of it’s big. Washing clothes at a laundry mat for 6 people is really expensive, so it sucks not having a washer, can live without a toaster, but not having a running car and the vacuum being broke really stinks, it’s hard to get these carpets clean without it.
Trying to decide what I’m going to work on tomorrow, I need to break down the dresser downstairs it’s falling apart anyway. Finish up the dishes and straighten up my room and the boys room. The bathroom needs a scrub down again, at least the toilet and the floor. Wipe down the counters. Really need to get my closet sorted but I don’t think I’ll be able to until trash goes out Thursday because there wont be enough room in the trash cans for everything that needs to go in there. Probably should also go through the toys and get rid of the broken ones/ones they don’t play with etc.
Guess I’m going to cuddle down with my baby girl and the pup and watch some more True Blood until I can get myself to fall asleep.
What sucks the most (okay, not the most but really does suck) I’m out of coffee.... days are going to be much longer. Maybe I can get my Father-in-law to drop off some milk, bread and coffee for me tomorrow. Guess we’ll see…
Really, really wishing my husband was home, I hope he’s resting well and I hope this really helps him.
-Mindy
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