Because I knew you... in Thoughts.

I have the song “For Good” from Wicked stuck in my head. Its a beautiful song and I’m finding that it aligns with some of my thoughts.

So this weekend was fucking crazy busy. My sleep has been pretty messed up and I’ve been out of touch with myself. So I’m working on getting back on track.. But first things first, I needed to have some relax time. So that is what I’ve done today.

I did about 4 miles on moms new exercise bike, which is great and much needed. The amount of weight that I am gaining back because I’m actually eating is stressful. But I’m getting back on the exercise train. Even if its only a few small workouts a couple times a day until I have time to do a real work out. (I hopefully should have time every day this week except for Friday.)

I’ve been exploring my comfort zone and my limits. Sometimes I push too far, just to see where I stand… who I am. What makes me tick? What makes me uncomfortable? How have I changed since meeting G? How have I changed since the break up?

I’m learning a lot about all of these things.

I wish I could say that the learning process was faster and that it didn’t require so much trial and error. Some of the things I’ve done have left me really uncomfortable with myself. But I guess learning that is learning how I have changed.

I’m not the same woman that I was before I met G. I’m not the same woman that I was six months ago. I’m not even the same woman that I was two weeks ago. Change is so constant in my life right now, and its taking getting used to and accepting.

I just have to remember that change is not bad. I’m becoming who I am meant to be.. and its difficult. I make mistakes daily. I spend way too much time being mean to myself, and way too little time focusing on the good. I’m working on it. I’ll get there one day. :)

Alright, well I’m off to get ready for work. Yay for a late day. I was able to get some extra sleep :D.

I hope you are all having a blessed day!

becca