Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting in 2014: The Year That Was

Heavy nights thick with caramelized humidity. I switch the air-con to maximum and breathe.Currently riding out a few bumps in the road as HR lob a monkey wrench into the works with some sly-ass contractual clauses.
And it was all such smooth sailing till now

Anyway, it’s another day. Feeling well dressed and incredibly bald. I can take some belief from the tough decisions I’ve made that really haven’t been that tough at all. Kung-Fu Cheddar’s fitted like a dream. He hasn’t so much hit the ground running as bolted for the bar on last orders!
Queso indeed!!
Ah me Española. It’s still very much, ‘Pardona, hablo poko espanyol. Hablo ingles?’ I’m trying but I’ve had to put off the lessons for the last two weeks. That’s 6 hours of free one-to-one lessons. I’m loco!
Though the paddy wagon…
- Que the espaynol for ‘paddy wagon?’
…hasn’t rocked up yet so I guess I’ll play 20 questions with myself with a thought and a smile?

So when I finally do get round to putting pen to paper it’s time to pull up the metaphorical trouser legs and dive head first, shit deep, into the biggest pile of toxicity I can find?! Maybe? Possibly? I’m a little too indifferent for my own good as both sides of the coin appear out to lunch?

Ahh but that’s a good thing! With my own space I’ve embraced a wee bit of cooking from scratch. Nothing but the unhealthiest cuts of meat, a creamy garlic sauce, a glass of vino un pinto, and a Chunky Monkey Ben & Jerry’s to help the heart attack on just that bit sooner! From the tiny bit of meat launched Queso’s direction he appears to approve?
- Then again he also enjoys a really good sniff of his own poo?
I’ve not died of food poisoning (yet) so my rum-tum has given it the go too! That said, on return of my 2-week, long departed, sense-of-smell I’m returning round the corner where they serve meat by the kg and give you ‘La quenta’ in a leather wallet** I’ve been nursing the flu…which is a stupid thing to say as the very last thing I want is to support my influenza’s return to full strength! It’s more, I’ve been attempting to exorcize these son-of-a-bitch, demon germs back to which ever hell spawn they broke free from!

Leather wallet bills and cloth napkins. I’m a sap for just a poko bit more effort.

All bets are off before they’ve even been splashed down. I’ve been fortunate in my laziness and saved myself a bit. I really need to brush up on my saving skills. There’s no need to go beer nuts the moment I’ve knocked off daily knee shaves. My noggin’s looking less grey too so I’m told?

And really all that’s left to say is how much different life still is with a gallon of sunshine. Probably the most obvious thing I’ve ever put down here?

Hasta leu

…..I am unfortunately all too aware of how awful my Spanish spelling is!

**I was horribly disappointed on realising this wasn’t a take-home.

Last updated May 15, 2015