Progress in Food Angst

On March 20th I started with the new personal trainer and changed my eating habits. Monday I went to the doctor for a one month recheck and I had lost 8 lbs. The doctor’s office people were impressed, I was disappointed it wasn’t more. I have been going to bed hungry every night. Overall, however, I am proud of the work I am doing. The personal training is going well, I am making good progress with my strength and abilities. I enjoy going. If I could have afforded something like this early in life it would have been a good way to set a pattern for a healthy lifestyle. I never really enjoyed exercise for the sake of exercise, running or walking I always found boring and tedious. This is different. I have been working hard and feeling better and I don’t want to mess it up by going home and eating the wrong things. The two things seem to go hand in hand.

Controlling my eating is easy once I’m back into the pattern. I truly have an alcoholic’s mind set when it comes to food. If I stick with the plan and focus day to day, I can keep away from the addictive food triggers that I am very aware of. For me it’s on or off, I can’t seem to find a happy medium, but that will be my ultimate goal.

I have been dating a man for a couple of months. He is good about staying in touch but our actual time together has slowed to nil. He owns a company that services pools, and this is his busiest time of year. He has been working seven days a week, morning until dark. He says it will get better after memorial day when most pools open, then he’s be busy but not overwhelmed during the summer. When I met him was in February and he was hardly working at all. It was nice having him available like that, but I can’t argue with the priorities of being a business owner. It is what it is. So I am still spending a lot of time alone. I don’t think I could ever be attached at the hip to someone, but I would sure like to find the middle ground. I am definitely set in my solitary ways, having someone full time in my life really doesn’t seem feasible at this point.

My Abby is a wonderful challenge on a daily basis. I try to give her the things no one gave me growing up. Unconditional love, support and attention. She is blooming. I love that she has taken to reading so naturally and it’s one thing we share. We play a lot of games, board and card, and she’s a good strategist. It’s so rewarding seeing her become a person.