Today in A new era

Today my grandad had three seizures.
Today my grandad had two separate bleeds on the brain.
Today, my grandad had acquired an aspiration pneumonia from vomiting whilst unconscious.
Today my grandma asked me if she was going to lose her husband of 60 years.
Today I saw my Grandad’s penis.
Today i put his ng tube back in when he had yanked it half out and there was no one else around to do it.
Today I came home with my Grandad’s bile down my leg.
Today, a doctor told me I’d make a lovely nurse, then laughed when I said I was one.
Today, I was the grown up, calling my parents on their holiday abroad and telling them to come home.
Today, I knew everything that was coming before it happened.
Today I had a conversation about whether my grandad should be resuscitated in the event of cardiac arrest.
Today I relayed that conversation to my grandma because she’s hard of hearing and the doctor was whispery.
Today, and right now, we’re keeping our fingers crossed that antibiotics work.
Today I saw true heartbreak.

Today, my heart broke.

Xx