20 days, no booze.
Today has been a hard one. I would like a drink right now. A big dose of medicine to soothe my ache. But I won’t because I promised myself. It’s funny how being good to myself kinda bums me out. Why is that?
I have spent the day with a lump in my throat and horribly mixed emotions. On the one hand, I’m really missing the Bulldog. But on the other hand, if we were together right this very moment, I bet you anything I’d be in a state of frustration because he’d probably be having yet another bad day or at least a few things to be negative about.
Seriously, how does one deal with that? What if I’d met him years ago and married him during a “happy” phase and then he’d turned into this sad sack? What would have happened? I guess that’s the chance that everyone takes, right? For better or worse?
Whatever.
Other than all of that, a pretty ordinary day.
I took my team to lunch today. That was kinda nice. I think they appreciated it. I appreciate them, for the most part - ha!
I didn’t exercise, and it’s raining so I can’t take the pup for her walk OR get all of my steps in today/tonight. And bootcamp is already canceled for tomorrow. Guess we’ll have to go walk the mall or something.
Yeah, there are lots of things that I can get done without the worry of my fake relationship. Here are some things I need to do, stat:
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Get a new car. My lease is up and my car is in need of repair, but I waited too long to take care of that shit. Ultimate in procrastination. Must take care of that immediately!
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Clean the rest of the closet.
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Clean the rest of the apartment.
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Clean out my storage space. That would free up $165 a month!! Why am I hoarding all of this stuff? The only things that I really want out of the space are the vintage dining table, the console table and some old photos and letters.
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Start a sewing project now that I got my sewing machine back from SexyPants
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Spring Wardrobe time!
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Write even more!
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Find a new lover? Maybe not so fast.
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Find a Mandarin class that I actually want to take.
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Puppy obedience training?
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Cooking classes!
Literally hundreds of other things. But this is a good start.
I’m tired now.
Today was a 5.
Love and kisses,
GS
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