What This Girl Wants in Love Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Is it really better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?
If that is true then it's like saying it's better to have felt the feeling of losing love then it is to have never felt the pain of losing love. I just don't know if I can believe that.
A long time ago I had a boyfriend named Marc. Now Marc and I had the perfect relationship. You know the verse of "Love is patient, Love is Kind... etc?" Marc and me had that... almost all of it. (if we had all of it we'd still be together) We were both very patient with each other. We were very kind. We were NEVER jealous or boastful. It was the most amazing thing. We could actually flirt with other people and never, not once did we get angry with each other. We just laughed it off. You see, I had 100% trust in Marc, and he had 100% trust in me. We never cheated on each other. We never had to. We gave each other 100% of what the other needed. We laughed together more than any other person I can think of. We had the perfect relationship. We really did. My family loved him. He had a way of just making everyone laugh. He had these fantastic one liners that he always said. Just thinking about him makes me laugh. He was adorable too. (even if he was losing his hair at age 22) I really wish he and I would have made it through the tough times.
Our relationship ended for a few reasons. One reason is because I couldn't handle him never having a job. (not that he didn't try... he just only wanted to do framing work and wouldn't do anything else when he couldn't find a framing job) The other reason is really quite personal and deep. Ultimately, we broke up. It's really too bad we couldn't make it through those things. However, we didn't and he's with someone else now with children. I still think about him though.
I wish I could find someone out there more like him. I dated the boy-next-door all through Jr. High and High School. His name was Erich. I miss him the most. I moved away from him right after High School. I lost track of him and havn't heard about him in 12 years. I miss him more than Marc. He and I knew each other for about 10 years and never argued once. I mean it. Not one harsh word came out of either one of our mouths the whole time we knew each other. My sister, Wendy, swore him and I would marry. It didn't happen though. (obviously) I still look for him though, on MySpace, Google, Classmates.com, and every where else I can think of. I always come up empty handed. He was so perfect. He was patient and kind with me also.
Those are the two men in my life that I appreciate 100%. (besides my dad and brother) Those two men really knew who I was. They knew me inside and out. They never took me for granted. They never abused me in anyway. They loved me and they loved me in an amazing way. They never cheated on me. They never pressured me into anything. They made me laugh. They never deliberatly hurt me. The respected me. They cared about me.
They both could teach the men in today's society many good lessons.
The perfect man for me?
Independent Funny Trustworthy Honest
That's really all I want. Looks aren't important. I don't want to have to check his cell phone to make sure he's not cheating. I don't want to have to call him to make sure he's where he said he was going. I don't want to have to wait up and wonder when he's coming home.
I want an "Erich or Marc."
Her
Leave a Note
RYN: there is a link to "Favorite Of" on the Favorites page - it's been there since I changed the menus. Look in the links that sort the page and you should see it. [The DiaryMaster] 4/26/2006 1:29:24 AM
I hope you find your perfect man. You have been lucky to have had two such warm relationships. You have nice memories to carry around with you. [Holy_Smokes!] 4/26/2006 11:27:59 PM
Kevin was here. I don't know what other note to leave, but I'll think of something later.
<3 [JKD Student]
4/27/2006 3:30:21 AM
I wonder about that too.... is it really better to look back and think about what you had, what could have worked out if only you did one little thing different. I hate that feeling.
ryn: Spaz is home on his antibiotics... still has the blood though, hoping for test results today. [ShortStuff82]
4/27/2006 7:58:34 AM
There's a website designed specifically for searching for people. I'm not sure of the name of it right now but I will get it for you shortly.
re: aww thank you for the congrats and the well wishes. For some reason a lot of my favorites missed that entry - something I did wrong, I guess; perhaps it was some sort of glitch, I don't know. Anyhow yes I'm happy but a little apprehensive at the [hawk.] [p]
4/27/2006 4:12:49 PM
very same time. It's a big step in life, ya know?
My due date, according to my first visit (before bloodwork and ultrasounds - are those more accurate in determining due dates? I'm not sure) is December 21st.
[hawk.] [p]
4/27/2006 4:13:57 PM
http://www.zabasearch.com/
Seems to be pretty good at finding people. Good luck. [hawk.] [p]
4/27/2006 4:20:20 PM
I hope you find that man... I really do. I hope things are still going well for you, take care xxx [Clouds That Cry] 4/28/2006 11:14:21 AM
You will find your Erich or marc!! they are out there!! i wish i knew what i wanted in life.. thanks for leaving a note by the way.. maybe someday i will figure out what i need in life... maybe now i'm just to young and carefree to really care.. keep in touch [Energizer Ashley] 5/1/2006 1:03:52 AM
There are nice guys out there that have those qualities, I promise. [OddJohn]
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