Binge Drinking Almost Killed Me Saturday, April 15, 2006
I should be dead. I really don't know why I am not. For the first time ever I drank so much last night that I should have been hospitalized. I don't know how I am alive today. I seriously don't remember anything past midnight. Something happened. I know. But I don't know what. I was with my roommate and my friend Joe drinking last night. That's all I know. I now know what crashing and hitting rock bottom feels like.
As absolutely horrible as this sounds, I have to put this in my diary. I have to admit this. I know something happened last night because I woke up in my own vomit and my arm is scratched up and I have bruises up and down my left hip. I don't remember any of it. Not even bits and pieces. I don't know how I got to bed. I don't know how much I drank. I have no clue as to anything past midnight. Did I fall? Did someone see it? I don't know. Did they carry me to bed? Seriously, I don't want to remember. I don't want to know. I just want to forget that it happened.
So what happens to a person that isn't an alcoholic, but is a binge drinker? What happens after the person wakes up in their own puke? I can't think of a much lower point in my life as this morning. Why I didn't choke on my vomit last night, or die from alcohol poisoning is beyond me. I stopped drinking at about 12:30 (I assume) and woke up at 11am.. .still drunk... again at 2pm... still drunk... and finally at 3 pm my head stopped spinning. It's now 6pm and my body is shaking and my stomach still hurts and I still feel a bit dizzy. The amount of alcohol I consumed should have me dead. I thank God I am alive today. I couldn't imagine how my family would have taken having their daughter die from alcohol the day before Easter. It's just not right.
I'm just not right.
I pledge from this day forward to NEVER drink again. Ever.
God, help me.
Her
Leave a Note
just randon noter....though i would share my 2 cents with you on the whole binge drinking....i have the same issue and while i know its never a easy/simple solution to it...heres what helped me...i nailed down what my trigger was for bingeing...and then i avoided it all together on those days....that and i try to limint how many times i even have a socil drink, but you also too have to remeber [Deep Dark Secrets] [p] 4/15/2006 6:27:03 PM
that you will have slips now and again....i had a horrible one too the other night....its not fun and its not healthy .... but there is hope....if you can nail out your trigger for bingeing i would say avoid it alltogehter.....allthough thats hard as hell....sometimes weeding out poeple who drink alot helps....
i dunno if this helps but i thought i would share
-Angel [Deep Dark Secrets] [p]
4/15/2006 6:28:59 PM
I hope that you succeed.
Alcohol can be amazing, but it can drag down further than you ever imagined. I've seen both sides.
I'm not trying to preach, I'm simply wishing you all the luck in the world.
Take care xxx [Clouds That Cry]
4/15/2006 6:44:58 PM
Stick to your resolution not to binge drink ever again. I was married to a binge drinker. Some binges lasted for over two weeks.
Get help. The drinking is a symptom - establish the cause and try to understand it and come to terms with it or "fix" it - without the booze.
I hope you are feeling better. [Holy_Smokes!]
4/15/2006 6:53:24 PM
I hope you start feeling better soon and I'm happy you are still here. Please take care of yourself and I'm glad you are making the pledge of no drinking.
Enjoy Easter with your family :) [lostonthesea]
4/15/2006 7:02:15 PM
Binge drinking may seem fun but I know it's dangerous... congrats on realising you need to stop. As soon as you identify what you need to do, you can take the first few steps and you're on your way there. Well done =) x x x take care. I know you can do it. [.blazin.roses.chick.] 4/15/2006 7:33:57 PM
Well I'm certainly you survived the night, and proud of you for realizing that you need to stop drinking.
RYN: I'm moving because I'm graduating in three weeks. My friend Emily and I are moving to Indianapolis together, b/c she is going to grad school at IUPUI and I am going to try to find a job. So very excited! [Serenity17] [p]
4/16/2006 11:37:09 AM
(this is not the typical response)
If you arent an alcoholic.
Well, i wouldnt swear the stuff off if you enjoy it when its in moderation.
But thats just me.
And i cant stop doing anything i try and stop doing, hahaha.
Sigh [LastInLine]
4/16/2006 10:43:38 PM
The money thing... eh. Best I can offer is if you're ever in the Jersey area, I'll buy you dinner. [JKD Student] 4/17/2006 11:17:44 PM
You're very welcome.
My father in law is an alcoholic - but refuses to admit he has a problem. As far as I'm concerned, anyone who looks and sees a problem, admits it and wants help is worth all the time and help in the world to me.
I really do hope you succeed.
Good luck and take care xxx [Clouds That Cry]
4/18/2006 6:07:05 AM
RYN: A big house where they all have room. Its a lot to clean up, I agree, but wouldn't have it any other way. We live on more than 3000+ sqft and all get along. Given, there are disagreements, just as they are in another 'family', but they know a stern look, the water bottle and all is well :) [~Bastet] 4/18/2006 10:19:25 AM
RYN: Thank you for the kind way you responded to my note. I hope you are feeling better about yourself now.
Often wounds take time to heal - especially when you don't know you have been wounded and just accept it as the norm. I actually don't know enough about you to make this commnent. Just speaking from personal excperience.
Look after yourself and keep well!
[Holy_Smokes!]
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