Rick’s birthday weekend went as well as it could have. I felt terrible that I could not throw him a huge celebration. Yes, turning sixty should be cause for a to-do. But we simply do not have the money. In April, I began talking to him about what he wanted to do. Each time, it would be a brief, half hearted sort of a discussion, but each time, he would wave it off. Save that discussion for later.
I could not nail him down. I came up with ideas that allowed for food and fun- like a potluck picnic. Or cake and ice cream at our place, then going as a group to see a band he really likes. Or having his mom, sister, nephew, and his kids all come down and we spend the weekend doing fun things for free. Everything was “awesome” or “great”, but I couldn’t get him to commit.
Finally the week before I asked point blank what he wanted. Told him time was up. He said he really did not want a party. He just wanted a quiet weekend, maybe see his son. Okay, cool! I initially found free tickets to this really unique esoteric museum. When the free tickets fell through, I decided to just buy the tickets with the little bit of money I had saved for his gift. He told me that Bix might not make it. “You know how kids are. They’re so hard to nail down.”
I accepted that his kids might not show up (again). I completely dropped my attachment to an outcome. I found discount tickets and ended up paying twelve dollars each. An hour before we were supposed to leave, his son finally responded, saying he would come, but did not want to eat. He was having intestinal issues and was going to have a colonoscopy in a few days. That’s understandable. So now the plans changed because the taco spot I had picked for lunch was blocks from the museum, and both are 45 minutes from our place. I did not think it was fair to make Bix watch us eat, so food would happen after the museum, and after we dropped him off.
As we were leaving the apartment, we were exiting through the lobby that faces a very busy street, and we both looked up to see a woman riding a horse right in front of us. She said hello. I looked at Rick and said, “That has to be a sign. What is your Chinese Zodiac animal?” He smirked and said, “Horse.” But of course it is.
Traffic was crazy getting to Bix. Then we had to battle even more traffic going to the other side of the city.
Rick pulled into a driveway near the museum so I could get out and wait for them while they found parking. Rick wasn’t paying attention and put the car in reverse, while I was still grabbing my purse from the seat. I had to yell at him as I started to go down. I wrenched my knee and wrist holding onto the seatbelt as the car rolled backwards.
He looked panicked and kept saying, “I’m so sorry!” I just felt really scared and kind of annoyed. I huffed and shut the car door and walked away.
I sat in front of the museum for a few minutes while they parked. They showed up fairly quickly for this area of Culver City. We walked into a very small gift shop entrance crowded with people. I realized immediately that this was not going to be a disability friendly place. Small narrow passages, winding walkways.
But it was nothing short of magical. It was dark and warm. They offer you a hand fan before you begin wandering. I brought my own. I told Rick to go off with Bix and look around. I realized that I had to find a spot to sit after I meandered for just a few minutes. It was crowded. But every time you rounded a corner, there was something more perplexing, more astounding.
One corridor held an exhibit of microscopic flower mosaics, a whole video presentation called, “Tell it to the Bees”, which centers around superstitions and beliefs that have been carried down through generations. There was a dark room with heavy curtains, opera music wafting into a hallway. I felt something before I entered the room. A presence. A strong female. As my eyes adjusted to the space, I saw a glass case with a gorgeous beaded gown and accessories that probably dated back to the 1920’s. AHHHHHHH THERE IT IS! The lady whose singing was playing over a speaker in a room with her belongings. She’s still there. She wanders around after closing. All over.
Rick had caught up to me, and I showed him a secret hallway that had a small set of spiral stairs. I wanted him to explore it for me. He encouraged me to peek into a room, and it was a peaceful, Mediterranean theme room. Stone walls with vines crawling all over.
He found another set of stairs, that were much too steep for me, so I stayed behind and told him to report back. About ten minutes later, he came back. “I would like you to try to do the stairs, if you can’t, that’s okay, but you’ve got to see what is up there. You’re not going to believe it.” I stood up with my cane, and made my way to the first step. A woman was coming up behind us and I think she noticed the cane. She said, “You’ve got this! Take your time!”
It was tough, but I did it. Rick lead me through a few maze like spaces with special exhibits, to an archway, leading to a covered courtyard that looked like we were in India. There was an attendant there, serving hot tea, and cookies. As I sat, I noticed beautiful pigeons everywhere. AN AVIARY! There was also a little room you had to pass through two beaded curtains to get through. There was a small cut out in the wall the lead to a net enclosed aviary filled with tiny finches, and they were flying into and out of that cut out into the tiny room I was standing in.
Talk about whimsical! It was like a dream.
We spent a little time there, drinking tea and holding court with the sweetest pigeons. I wanted to explore the entire upstairs, but my knees were so unstable and painful, so I found a comfy sofa to sit on while the guys looked around. When they were finished, we started making the descent down the stairs. Thank goodness for my cane and Rick patiently walking ahead of me.
We made it back to the car, and headed through horrific traffic, once again. It took almost an hour to drive Bix back home. When we pulled up, Bix said, “Wait here a second.” And he got out of the car and headed into the house. I figured he had a gift for Rick.
I was NOT expecting Rick’s ex (girlfriend, NOT wife) to come flitting out of the house in a bathing suit, coming up to our car with flowers in a beautiful vintage vase that Rick acknowledged, “I have always loved that vase.” She handed him the gifts and said, “Thanks for giving me my kids. And for helping out.” I almost guffawed. He thanked her, and got back in the car. When they went inside I said, “Really? A freaking bathing suit?” I started feeling a bit insecure, and started comparing myself to her. Rick said, “She’s gross. She’s too skinny.” That curbed things a little.
We drove toward home, but couldn’t decide where to eat. I wanted Rick to have something special, and he just wanted to eat. We ended up at the Habit burger spot. We both got double cheeseburgers with bacon and fries. He got a cucumber lime agua fresca, I got strawberry lemonade. We were really hungry and wolfed everything down quickly.
We decided to come home after and got comfy. We watched tv for the rest of the night.
The next day, he wanted to take it easy. I was in a lot of pain from all of the walking I did on Sunday. Rick took his time drinking coffee and waking up before we had cards and gifts. At every turn, I had asked Rick what he wanted for a gift, and he said he wanted an experience, not a present. So I considered my museum tickets his gifts. I did write out a card. He was happy to open his cards and read the messages. Then we moved on to gifts. His ex bought him a few snacks he really loves, and there was a card signed by her on behalf of everyone in her family, including the kids, and their pets that have died. It was weird. Not the present. Just the card.
My bff had also sent him and gift. It was a bag full of different varieties of gummy candies, and a 50 dollar gift card. Very generous.
He spent the afternoon relaxing and working on a jigsaw puzzle. z
I needed a few things from the store for Rick’s birthday dinner, and I had just sent him a list in a text. We were just finishing up an episode of Star Trek, when Rick’s mom called. He briefly mentioned needing to go to the store, and she asked him why I couldn’t go to the store. “Mom, she has a license, but we don’t have insurance for her to drive my car. She does not have a car. Mom you know all of this. Yes, she’s doing stuff for me.” Then he turned on a dime and changed the subject.
Yes, I was sitting right next to him on the couch. I heard all of it.
I went to the kitchen and began washing dishes, because I really didn’t want to hear anything further about how terrible I am. I also was just trying to keep the focus on Rick and his day. When he got off the phone, I thanked him for changing the subject before his mom could really talk trash, and he seemed genuinely taken aback. “She only had nice things to say about you.” I heard her. I just nodded. He said, “Believe me or don’t.” I said, “It does not matter.” I went about getting all of the dishes washed so I could start cooking while he was at the store.
I was planning on creamy salmon and artichoke lasagna roll ups with a bechamel, roasted brussel sprouts, and focaccia. I opened the can of salmon and was instantly icked out. There was no way. The skin was still on, and I couldn’t get it off effectively, so I texted Rick at the store and told him I was pivoting.
I ended up making a simple cheese lasagna with ricotta, mozzarella, canned pasta sauce, and love. I reheated the focaccia. Rick brought Guinness and ice cream home.
Dinner was really great. Rick was impressed.
I was up tossing and turning with ulcer/acid reflux/gallbladder crap all night, and in the morning, I was dealing with a pretty severe stomach ache and fatigue. I ended up getting up at 3:45, to discover the lasagna still on the stove. Covered tightly in foil. I could not. I shook my head and put it in the fridge.
Most of my day was spent in bed or relaxing on the couch with Rick watching tv.
I cannot believe it is already Wednesday. His bff and wife are treating us to a Bruce Hornsby show tonight. Should be a lot of fun.
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