Yesterday was a make up chemo meds day, as i did not have my refill from the pharmacy in time to take it on Monday. The bad thing about Methotrexate is that you can feel the effects within 40 minutes of taking it. I know I mentioned this yesterday, but it feels like having wet concrete poured over my head. It is almost impossible to get any real work done.
I know I finished up listing the last of my men’s fragrance samples, and after that, I did not have the energy to start any new drafts on things I need to list. I want to get my “death pile” a bit more organized before I start new listings. I like to do batch listings in one category, if I can help it and my pile is a melange of quite a few different types of things.
Rick made us corndogs for lunch, and I warned him that we were going to have chili dogs for dinner, so I hoped he was not going to be hot-dogged out. We watched our usual Jeopardy episode, which is always fun. The current champion is a dude that gives me major ick, and every time he answers a question in his smarmy fake radio announcer voice, I almost gag. I want SOMEONE to beat this guy. He’s won like $185,000 so it’s not as if he hasn’t had a fair shot. LOL. I am terrible.
I rested and doom scrolled in bed for a little bit, and Rick came in and said he was going to the cannabis dispensary to pick up his birthday gift. Cool! I was excited, as I do not have any Ibuprofen left, and I had already taken Naproxen, with little relief. It isn’t JUST a money issue keeping me from getting it. My doctors have warned me a couple of times that I need to get off of it. The only replacement they offered was MORPHINE, and i refuse to go there.
I put dinner together in one cake pan and decided to bake the chili dogs. One pan, lined in foil for easy clean up. Twenty minutes at 395 degrees.
Rick came home with five minutes left on the timer. He came in with a very large bag from the dispensary. Our fave edibles, a couple of thc infused drinks, and last but not least, a vape cartridge for me. He had tons of rewards points saved up, so he got most of it for a penny each. And the vape will work WONDERS on my pain and mood.
When he handed it to me, I cried. I was SO thankful. Within ten minutes, we were eating dinner and watching Deep Space Nine. Dinner was yummy and Rick said he brought dessert home- Thrifty’s chocolate malted crunch. A small pint. Perfect to share.
I was really tired, so I went to our room a little after nine, and thought I would easily fall asleep, and I did. But then something major happened outside on the street that brought multiple fire trucks, police and an ambulance, and they blocked the street off. I noticed the beginning pain of whatever I have going on- an ulcer, gallbladder issue, who knows. Normally, I take a couple of Ibuprofen and it’s okay.
No Ibuprofen. I spent the entire night and early morning trying to sleep through the pain. I finally took another Naproxen and a couple of hits from the vape, and prayed for sleep. I got about an hour.
Today is therapy. I know that we are going to delve more into the borderline diagnosis. The diagnosing psych felt like I didn’t have the full disorder because I do not exhibit any violent tendencies, but when we dug in last week, I remembered one event. I went through my bedroom and destroyed everything- tore down all of my wall art, broke knick knacks, all in response to my best friend and my long time crush (who knew I liked him) hooking up behind my back. It was the third time my best friend had done this to me. I was sixteen.
Anyway, I know we are going to go more in depth with that today. I am glad we don’t have anything planned later.I told Rick that we’re having Mexican breakfast for dinner- chorizo and scrambled eggs, fried potatoes and onions, refried beans, and corn tortillas. I am looking forward to it. I will send Rick out for Ibuprofen, just in case.
I think I will probably take it easy today, and just recline the sofa and watch tv.
I hope you are all having a good week.
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