I Cry Saturday, September 17, 2005
I placed my hand around my heart today and ripped it out of me. I tried to do it to myself with out noticing. It still hurts now. I hurts more than death. I killed myself. I don't know why I did it. I just don't believe in love anymore. I broke it off with C. It hurts. Really bad it hurts. It's as though I sucked my own life from my body. I cry.
Pain so deep it bleeds. Tears so large they flood. I broke it off... I broke it off... Now it's over. It will never be again. For me it's over. Love shall never be a part of my life. It can't be. And what's that leave me with? Nothing. Because what good is having health, financial stability, or life with out having love? What good is looking for love when you don't have the ability to keep it when it's found?
I am a mess. I am broken with out the ability to be fixed. Sometimes saying just the words, "I am" doesn't make sense to me. I mean, what am I really?
It's over for me. Completely over. I don't want to be here anymore. I can't find a reason to be. C was my last chance. I was not put on this world to love, and yet all I ever wanted since I was just a child was to have a family. MY GOD, MY GOD why couldn't you give this one thing to me? Why do you punish me? I tried to do it Your way. I tried to wait until I was married. I tried to wait until I was prepared. And now I know... You don't want me to have the one thing I have always wanted. You hurt me, Lord. And in return, I hurt myself.
Pain as thick as blood. Tears as many as the sea. It hurts. Really bad it hurts. It's as though I sucked my own life from my body. I cry.
Her
Leave a Note
I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you to find some solace in all that has happened. Your tears are flowing and that is ok. Please don't give up on life and love.
[lostonthesea]
9/17/2005 5:16:02 PM
I wouldnt say that its not as bad as you think. I mean, you know how you feel and if think your hurting that bad, then you are hurting that bad.
However, just remember, tomorrow your not going to hurt as bad as today.
Youve been through things like this before. Youll get past them. I know that doesnt help now. But just try and keep your eyes on the briter days ahead. [LastInLine]
9/19/2005 9:49:07 AM
I got nothing, but this ::Hugs:: [Solitary17] [p] 9/19/2005 1:55:58 PM
Oh, and I hope you know that your offer to talk goes both ways. I'm always hear to listen if you want to talk about what you're feeling. Seriously I check my e-mail ([email protected])compulsively throughout the day, b/c I'm cool like that. I hope things get better for you and that it all just works out for the best. Until then you'll be in my thoughts. [Solitary17] [p] 9/19/2005 5:37:20 PM
what happened why did you break it off tommorow is another day look towords the light darkness does not last last forever. its been 3 mdays please write somthing 9/20/2005 6:01:41 PM
[JKD Student] 9/21/2005 1:21:31 PM
C wasn't your last chance. YOU are your last chance and I can already tell that you have much more to offer the world.
[enchanted.]
9/23/2005 10:17:43 AM
Nice peice of work....dont know if it was supposed to be a song or a poem or both or none of those.but i just liked it because it was real feelings...
Do u get me? [2 BeLLa 4 YoU!] [p]
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