April 18, 2026
Oh my lord, it’s Procrastination Station over here!
Gloomy Saturday, and I want to use this day to finish packing all the “big shit” and just leave the little stuff (clothes I can pack in a suitcase and shower stuff I can finish until Friday… and just enough food, condiments, etc.) that I can finish by Friday.
The movers come on Friday!!
But I am stalled out and procrastinating and I have been procrastinating all morning. Oof. And it’s cloudy and that makes me sad.
Also, I got my first paycheck yesterday and I did some figuring out how much taxes are coming out of my check, plus how much I’m going to be taking out for savings in my shiny, new 401K, plus medical, dental, vision, etc. and taking my salary into account (GOD, I wish I’d asked for more, but then I would have priced myself out of an offer, I’m pretty sure! It jussst suuucccks that they did a little bait-and-switch on me. You bet your ass I’m going to talk to my boss about it when he’s back from his Asia trip).
Anyyywwwayyy, doing taxes and figuring out what my actual take-home pay is going to be, and then figuring out how much I’m going to have to pay to board Marini for up to 3X a year for these big, long 3-week international trips, plus needing to lease another car in October or November or maybe it’s December?? I can’t remember.
All of it is boggling my mind as I think about my budget.
See, I’m actually making less money now than I did ten years ago. Though I’m making slightly more on paper than I was making at The Cool Cat Company, I was paid more each paycheck because I didn’t have a 401K to throw a chunk into retirement savings. I also barely worked, so there’s that. It just feels like I’m about to do 90% more work with 5% less take-home pay!
So my paychecks are going to be several hundred dollars less each month - horrible realization, but I knew it would be like this…I just didn’t put a fine-tipped pen to paper like I did today.
And as you know, rents have skyrocketed, and gas has skyrocketed, and energy has skyrocketed, and food has skyrocketed, and…you get the point. Getting laid off sucks because it’s hard to catch up, and corporations know that you are a little desperate, and my job title does not allow for more money than I asked for, even though the actual JOB itself carries a much bigger responsibility than the title would imply.
But that’s a whole different thing for a whole other time.
So I spent a good chunk of this morning mapping out a real budget on a spreadsheet, and it’s eye-opening. I’ve never had to do that before!
Like, I’m figuring out how much I can spend on groceries every month and putting a cap on it. And how much I can spend on going out/entertainment, girls nights, fun stuff, clothes, household goods, the list goes on, and I know I am forgetting things. It sucks that I’m at this stage of my life and I have to watch what I spend every month.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I have a very comfortable nest egg, and I have a year’s worth of salary for “just in case” things sitting in a high-yield savings account. And there’s funny money in there for girls trips and traveling and good stuff and probably even a fancy splurge every now and then.
And as a matter of fact, I do indeed know that life is short…buy the bag, or the shoes, or go on the trip, or eat the cake or enjoy it because you can’t take it with you.
But remember, I’m also planning to live to 100, so I have to spread that shit out too!
I have a decent amount in my retirement fund that should help me live comfortably to 100-ish, and by all accounts and with all of the information I can find, I’m well and above in a much better place than most people my age, but I don’t feel like it, you know?
Why don’t I feel comfortable? Why do I have a scarcity mindset instead of an abundant one? What is wrong with me? Soooo many people walking around throwing their money around like it’s no biggie whatsoever, and I’m over here literally counting my pennies.
I need to figure this out.
But I do have a budget, and every goddamn cent is accounted for right now, and I don’t know how I feel about it.
Thoughts?
I gotta get back on my packing game. It’s still utter chaos over here! Time to straighten that out!
xox,
GS
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