I made the mistake of taking a puff or two off of my weed vape like an hour before therapy yesterday. I thought that surely, it would not still be affecting me an hour later. Then the session started, and I opened my mouth.
I began talking about awakenings, and coming to hold new beliefs. There were points in the conversation where I had a glimpse of lucidity, and my inner voice kept saying, “SHUT UP! SHUT UP you crazy moron!” I think I even apologized to Lauren at one point for sounding crazy.
After therapy, we had decided to go to the cheap movie theater in Pasadena to see Project Hail Mary. Rick had been bringing this theater up a lot. Six dollar tickets! Two dollar hot dogs! He tempered his enthusiasm with a word of caution. “This is not the kind of cushy place with comfy reclining seats. It’s worse for wear. But it’s cheap.” My adventurous side has already made up my mind. We’re going to do this.
I was not feeling great at all, but I cannot continue to put my life on hold because of fatigue and pain. Rick deserves to get out and do things, and I am going to try very hard to say yes when I am able.
We left the apartment before two, and the movie didn’t start until 3:30, so we drove to Old Town Pasadena and killed time. When we got to the theater, there was ZERO parking nearby, so Rick dropped me off at the curb, and went off in search of a parking spot. My legs were already aching, but I stood there waiting on Rick for well over eight minutes, before I walked over to the cafe next to the theater and had a seat at a table outside.
I initially went into the cafe hoping to grab a chocolate croissant, which is touted to be the “BEST IN LOS ANGELES!” according to the vinyl sign on the side of the shop. I walked into the bustling coffee house and took note of the bakery tray tremendously devoid of flaky nirvana. So disappointing! I would have to settle for two dollar hot dogs, I guess.
Rick finally arrived and we headed into the theater. He said he was hungry, and I was feeling a bit peckish, so we ordered FIVE hot dogs, a pretzel with nacho cheese, and a large Dr. Pepper. The total for everything was $25.97!
We headed to our seats, and immediately upon sitting down, I realized that this was going to be the longest two and a half hours of my life. The seats have got to be over thirty years old, and the angle of the back of the chair and the seat looks more like 7:00 than 9:00. The back of the cushion is worn down to nothing, and my tailbone instantly aches.
I tried other seats, and it was basically the same deal, so I took my original seat, and tried to settle in as best I could. I was actually pleasantly surprised at the quality of the two dollar hot dogs! The pretzel and nacho cheese was eh, but the hot dogs and icy Dr. Pepper really hit the spot.
While the movie was AMAZING, my physical discomfort was all consuming. I think we will have to watch it again when it is available for streaming. I would absolutely recommend this movie if you’re into science and space with a side of cutie pie actor.
After we left the theater, Rick mentioned being hungry. He had consumed THREE hot dogs just two hours before. I mentioned craving Chinese food, but we settled on Jersey Mike’s, because Rick had enough loyalty points to get a free sandwich.
By the time we got home, I was in a lot of pain. It was hard to get from the car to the apartment. We plated up our sandwiches. We share a giant club sub on rosemary parm bread, with lettuce, onion, and mayo. No tomato, not made Mike’s Way. It was my mom’s go to order. And she ate there A LOT. So now it’s our sandwich. I paired it with a serving of potato salad. I was happy to see that the giant bowl is now down to two small servings.
We watched a few episodes of Jeopardy, after an edible and a few puffs on the weed vape. I was in bed around 9:30.
In the past two weeks or so, I have been dreading Rick’s night time walks after I go to bed. It seems like something creepy happens almost every night. I will be laying in bed, watching videos on my phone while I wait for my meds to work. Sometimes, there are noises out in the living room, loud enough to make me think that Rick has returned. On more than one occasion, I have called out, “Home already?!” only to be met with silence. So I have stopped asking out loud. I am always afraid to look beyond my phone screen, and into the darkness of the other rooms.
Some nights, after the noise occurs, I will experience either a tugging or light brushing on the sheet covering my legs. If I am engrossed in my phone when it happens, I will look up, expecting to see Rick standing there. But I am met with nothing. Last night was different, though. Last night, I actually managed to doze off, but awoke to a firmer touch on my leg, with a definite upward movement. This time, my eyes bolted open. I wanted to say, “Home already?” But I cannot open my mouth. There’s is no one there. I want to grab my glasses and phone from the bedside table, so I can text Rick to ask him to come back inside, but I am frozen in fear.
I am paralyzed. But I tell myself I am okay. I close my eyes again and I try deep breathing. The next thing I know, I am waking up again, as Rick gets into bed. I want to tell him, but decide to wait until the morning. When we got up this morning, just after seven, I tell him about what I have been experiencing. I wonder out loud what object in our apartment could be causing the activity. He says, “Uhhhhh, I don’t know, maybe it’s THE DOLL in the bedroom!”
The doll he speaks of is one I found in a thrift store. She is a child sized doll, that stands hip high with me. She was worse for wear when I found her, and brought her home for the rock bottom price of FOUR BUCKS. Her dress was thin, marred with staining. Most of her hair had been cut off, except for two large ringlets flanking the sides of her head. I gave her a good wipe down, and washed her hair. I found a toddler sized outfit that my mom had made for Zoe. I also had a small black skull cap type hat with a large black flower at the front.
We name everything we bring into the house. Plants, housewares, everything. So it was only proper that the doll have a name. We decided on Sandy. She has become a running joke with my daughter. I will send her pics of Sandy in different areas of the apartment, with a caption like, “Your sister just wanted to say hi!”
So my guess is probably that the activity is from Sandy. I am thinking a cleansing of the apartment is in order. And I might attempt to rehome her via Facebook Marketplace. Everyone loves a haunted doll!
Not sure what I am going to do today. I could definitely clean a few areas, but Rick also requested super focus time, which means he wants a little quiet. I have been sitting here for over two hours typing this. I think I am going to make something for brunch. Eggs and soyrizo sounds yummy, but I want tortillas, and we don’t have any. We might just finish off the cold salads. Or I could make falafel and garlic naan. We’ll see.
I have already planned to make boxed mac and cheese with jalapeno cheddar sausage for dinner. I am craving green beans, so I will crack open a can.
I started to rearrange the hutch to add the tea pots I just procured, but even that felt like a lot, so I gave up, for now.
I hope everyone is having a good day.
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