People come and go, but eventually… everyone leaves. In some way or another.
I noticed that I’m really only writing for one person. And it’s not me. I’m not interesting or committed enough to find new friends/readers on here. It’s too much of a commitment that I don’t have the time or energy.
It’s like in ‘real life’. I’m tired of ‘maintaining’ my friendships. I’m the only one that ever reaches out. I’m the only one who tries to make plans, or conversation. It’s supposed to be a natural thing, people grow and change but it doesn’t feel like that. As my circle of ‘acquaintances’ gets smaller and smaller. I find myself caring less and less.
Beneath all that is a person desperately trying to reach out to people, but after being constantly let down and abandoned, I don’t trust anyone anymore. And of course, me reaching out is me showing I need someone. Which is detrimental to my independence.
Humans really are stupid creatures.
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