He agreed to counseling with me, and he isn’t moving out. Thank goodness.
I feel like sometimes he just doesn’t want to deal with things, and just wants to quit. He’s done this with work-related things in the past. Me, I’m the opposite. I have the type of work ethic that even if I absolutely hate a job, I feel obligated to work hard until I quit. He’s a serial monogamist, and I’ve never been. He’s my first “real” relationship, so I guess I haven’t figured this all out yet. Throw kids into the mix and things get complex.
But I think we can do it. We’re both dedicated to each other. He didn’t want us to break up, he just wanted to have his own space for awhile… I honestly did when I was pregnant and asked him about it, but he was not keen on the idea, so we continued to live together.
We seem to be getting along better today, but it usually works out that way. We get along great for awhile and then they just don’t. I think we desperately need alone time, but we don’t ever get it. The kids go to bed too late for us to be together at the end of the day, and we don’t have date nights, for lack of babysitters and Lorelei is still nursing and absolutely refuses bottles.
I’m going to research counselors today, but I’m not exactly sure what to look for.
I’ve been using “retail therapy” as a coping mechanism. Luckily for me it’s been with gift certs instead of actual money, so I guess that’s better, but now I’m out of gift cards and I’m still window shopping online a lot. D; I want to break out my sewing machine and start practicing stuff, but I don’t have any fabric, so that’s something else I need to go out and get. I’d also like to play my new video game but I can’t find the 3DS charger. ;(
We’ve been playing Hyrule Warriors, and I think it’s a fun game. It does feel like I’m playing a video game version of a fanfic though. haha
Cannon knows some colors! He’s been saying “red” and “green” and pointing to things in books that are those colors. I’M SO PROUD OF HIM! I had no idea he knew any colors!!! :D I tried sitting him on the potty the other day. He sat on it, but didn’t do anything. It’s a start. I never expect kids to pee the first time!
Lorelei has been ultra mega clingy lately and won’t take her binky much. Jacob took the kids so I could sleep in this morning, and I came out to see her happily playing. I went to go to the bathroom and w
hen she saw me leaving, she threw a huge fit. haha. Poor girl! She loves her mama. Actually she just loves nursing.
She also loves faces lately! She wants to touch my face a lot.
Friday will be a good mail day for me and I’ll post photos of the dresses and stuff. Maybe even ME IN THE DRESSES. :o
I think I want to dress up today… or tomorrow. I think both me and Jacob would appreciate it!
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