Dear Aly,
It’s been nearly 5 years since you passed, and I still miss you every day. There are so many things you’ve missed since you’ve been gone, and so many things I’ve gone through, both good and bad, that I would have loved to share with you. So I’m going to share some of it now.
I continue to struggle with health issues, just different ones than the ones you knew me to struggle with. But technology-wise, there are more games and gadgets to enjoy. I think you would love AI.
I think about you often and miss our chats. I moved to Florida not long after you passed, and I really love the warmer weather. Florida isn’t perfect, and our house isn’t perfect, but it’s nice, and I’m now at the point where I’m pretty sure we’re going to stay here for the rest of our lives. We’re getting a little too old for moving adventures like we used to have. Besides, money’s tight as retirees.
I miss you tremendously, and I’m ready for a sign that you go on. I would really love some kind of hello in my dreams, letting me know you hear me, you see me, you think of me, and you miss me the same as I do you.
Later…
OK, was that the sleep apnea talking, or could I really have CSA as well as OSA? I took a nap earlier because I didn’t sleep well. My nose is still healing and crusty, and I couldn’t get enough air through it, so after a couple of hours of sleep, I took off my mask. The rest of my sleep, there was some snorting, so that tells me my nose was blocked. My sleep was very fragmented.
In the middle of my sleep, I took a Benadryl, thinking that maybe some of it was allergies due to the mold and mildew because of the bathroom leak, but it didn’t seem to make a difference. It just helped me get back to sleep.
When I was napping, however, I was making a point of breathing through my mouth, yet still suffocated awake, unable to breathe. It really seemed like I stopped breathing, but was that because I didn’t have the mask on, or because I really do have CSA? I just couldn’t help but remember that the person who tested my sleep apnea mentioned CSA, and then there was the trouble I had breathing in recovery. It seems that if my breathing doesn’t stop altogether, it gets very shallow. I can only hope these instances were because of the sleep apnea and nothing more complex. I checked my CPAP, and while my AHI score was 4.3, it listed them all as OSA.
This is getting weird. The honker has been gone for almost a month now. That’s a hell of a long visit. Besides, why would you pay for a place you weren’t going to use for a month or so just to visit someone? I’m starting to think something urgent came up at home. I just don’t get why he would drive rather than fly, but maybe he did. Maybe his truck is at the airport.
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