J🌞DI ⋅ 51

Liberal. Rat mommy. Writer. Language lover. Fitness fanatic. Netflix whore. Audiobookworm. Dream premonitioner. Not always politically correct.

Beautiful people aren't always good, but good people are always beautiful. 💋

Entries 398

Page 1 of 16

Felt better yesterday, and so far so good today. The anxiety started to bubble up and my stomach went on the fritz, which may have been due to the fruit I ate yesterday, but after a few pieces of...


2 days ago

Cleansed in 2017

Always open to possible home jobs, I wonder why there isn’t more jobs helping the police catch online child pervies or something like that. But I guess certain things border too close to entrapme...


4 days ago

Sick & Twisted in 2017

As far as the legalized discrimination that has been allowed in four different states simply because they believe that they’re fictitious God sees gays as evil sinners, I realize yet again what a...


5 days ago

Not That Friendly in 2017

Went swimming in the 110° heat. The people here may not be mean but they sure aren’t usually very friendly either. I guess it’s a Cali thing, as Tom says. I said hello to a woman I’d seen at the ...


What does your diary name mean, and why did you pick it? It’s my first name with a sun emoji replacing the ‘o’. When did you first get an online diary? Summer of 2008. Why did you first start an ...


6 days ago

All is Good in 2017

My appointment with Dr. A went well. She understands that she can’t make me take the medication as recommended, and that if I believe it’s the cause of some of my anxiety, as I do, then I gotta d...


Thanks, California, for spending 50 million dollars to ensure our illegals/immigrants continue to get their freebies while those of us who are from here struggle to pay for healthcare and so much...


June 19, 2017

Stronger and Weaker in 2017

I wonder why it is that when I use speech to text online, the words appear on the screen as fast as I speak them. But when I’m working in Word it sometimes prints slower than I can type. Yesterda...


June 18, 2017

Dreams in 2017

I was remembering Kara, a girl I knew in Arizona, and then the unwanted reminders of my parents just had to penetrate my dreams last night. Ok, can I please go a month – just one month – without ...


June 17, 2017

Finally Got to the Lab in 2017

Tom said to ask my fellow PBers if making a mess is always fun, even if you don’t like cleaning up. I had gotten a cheap bottle of wine to take the edge off my anxiety (but now that I’m skipping ...


June 16, 2017

Weekly Skips in 2017

It used to be that when I would have a piece of clothing that was stained, I would wash it right away in our old top-loader and it would still be present. But now I can leave it sitting for days ...


June 15, 2017

I See Hope... I Hope in 2017

Finally there is a light in the dark! I don’t know if it will last the rest of the day, a week, a month, or more, but I’m enjoying it while it does. After I had a horrible few hours this morning,...


Happy 23rd anniversary to us!!! Unfortunately he has to work and I’m still not feeling the greatest. I didn’t actually start getting “stabbed” in the chest with anxiety until eight hours into my ...


June 14, 2017

Ear in 2017

Hey there. :-) I know I haven’t been very consistent with my journaling lately, but I had some really rough days and I thought my entries would be too depressing and even worrisome for some peopl...


Good God, there really is always something, isn’t there? Just like past times we’ve reapplied the Return to Sender spell, things didn’t get better right away. It usually takes a week. Meanwhile, ...


June 12, 2017

Return to Sender in 2017

I have 17 books 8006 entries here. Some people have asked, knowing that most of us keep some things private, so now you know. :) I can’t believe it’s almost the middle of June yet it’s 68° inside...


June 10, 2017

Progressively Better in 2017

I skipped my meds yesterday and felt progressively better throughout the day. Once again I’m wondering if my anxiety is more due to accumulation than perimenopause. I may have to skip a few doses...


June 09, 2017

25 Years Ago in 2017

Wow! It has now been exactly a quarter of a century since I left New England! I was a 90-pound, 26-year-old girl with great vision and that couldn’t gain weight. Can’t gain it easily now either, ...


June 09, 2017

Anxious Moments in 2017

I didn’t know this but it turns out that they make this stuff that dissolves hair dye. I guess it restores it back to its natural color, which means I would have brunette sprinkled with gray. Tha...


As you know, I’ve tried a handful of different prescription medications for anxiety and high cholesterol over the last few years, most of which have caused problems. Nothing wrong with taking ibu...


June 06, 2017

Hair, Periods & Dreams in 2017

If there was ever any doubt that dyeing the hair makes it thinner, it’s gone now. I noticed I lost a lot in the shower, plus it feels thinner in front. If only I could convince myself to cut it o...


June 05, 2017

New Lab in 2017

I was up for about 20 hours, slept for about 6, yet was horribly tired when I got up. Determined to live my life anyway, I got up and dyed my hair brown-black. It looks so much better, but it sur...


June 04, 2017

Third and Final Chance in 2017

Last night I went for a quick bike ride that couldn’t have lasted more than seven or eight minutes. When I returned my heart was booming like crazy and took forever to slow down. Instead of the r...


June 02, 2017

The Opposite of Yesterday in 2017

Trump, food, God, religion, politics, other assholes… maybe we’ll get to hear about other subjects more often one of these days soon. Till then… today I’m just the opposite of yesterday. Where ye...


June 01, 2017

My Favorite Month in 2017

It’s June! My favorite month. This month is our anniversary, his birthday, and the start of summer. June has always been my favorite month. The clonidine has proven to be pretty worthless so far....


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