My brother is missing. This day was bound to come, but it still feels shocking. He’s not been functioning for most of his adult life. He’s had lots of mental health issues. He tried anything and everything he could get his hands on, including shock therapy, to treat it with no success.
In early 2019 our dad faced some serious medical issues that led to all of us (me, him, and our eldest brother) needing to have genetic testing done. He shares a genetic mutation with our dad. This mutation explains all of his mental health issues and why traditional medications never worked. He had an answer and a road to recovery. Spite controlled his decision making though, and instead of getting it treated, he chose to ignore that he shared this issue with our dad and continue on as he was.
Over the past 20 years he’s mostly been homeless but never unhoused. His mom (we do not share), his half brother (also do not share), a step-dad, or friends always offered him somewhere to stay on a rotation. Once a clear medical diagnosis came about and he refused to seek care, people started losing their patience. He ended up at a halfway house for people with mental illness.
About 6 months ago he left that house under unknown circumstances and never returned. He has never fallen off the grid. He has never been unhoused. No one has heard from him since. A missing persons report has officially been filed, but I don’t trust DPD to actually look for him. Pretty sure it’s acting as a note that if they pick him up, they know someone is looking for him.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the homeless community in the past. Passing out toiletries, talking with them, trying to help find services. I never thought it would be my own brother, though. A friend and I are going to ‘boots on the ground’ look for him this weekend and I just don’t know how to feel about it. What do I do if I find him? I have zero intention of taking him home with me. I have young children and don’t want that kind of chaos in my house. Plus my husband (T) has his own long standing history with his own homeless brother. We have strict boundaries regarding these types of situations and our willingness to be involved.
There’s really not a good chance I physically find him. More likely I’ll find people who know who he is and can pass a message along. I guess my biggest fear is he’s not living anymore. He’s just never gone silent like this. I try not to talk too much about it with T because it’s such a sore subject for him. He’s got a lot of pain and guilt for his own brother that makes it hard for him to process my feelings for mine. They’re very different situations, but I understand where he’s coming from.
I don’t know what I want to come of this weekend or how I’ll handle myself if I find him, but regardless of how uneasy I feel about having to look for him, I desperately hope he’s okay.
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