You've Got Yours, I've Got Mine in 2014

It’s been a while. Things are weird.

Most notably, my roommates, Chris and Ella, broke up, which has been great and also terrible, but mostly weird. He’s now dating Erica, a fellow co-worker who I was attracted to a couple months ago. She had a boyfriend, but left him for Chris. It’s so fucking weird! Like, they don’t seem like they would be compatible at all based on their personalities and such. Ella and I have become a lot closer. I didn’t get involved in the situation, although I knew what was going on before it was official, so she was upset at me, understandably. I’ve done my best to be a good bro since then. We’ve been watching Sherlock and going to get sushi once a week. I don’t mind hanging out in the living room with her, since she never tries to guilt me into hanging out, unlike Chris. I share my car with her instead of him, which is much better, as she is considerate and actually gives me gas money and doesn’t leave Rockstar cans everywhere. I get along with him even less now, as he strung Ella along for several weeks before and after he said he was leaving her for Erica. I wasn’t really involved, but I lost respect for him regardless. He certainly Scott Pilgrim-ed both of them for a bit, except worse than Scott Pilgrim since he was sleeping with both and telling both he was going to choose them. We have a two bedroom place, so Ella has their bedroom and he sleeps on the couch when he’s around, which is not as often as before. We still have a few months on the lease, presumably we’ll make it but he could easily just bolt and screw us over. I don’t think her and I could afford this place with just both of us. Maybe if I get a better paying job.

I’ve begun seeing someone, which is all kinds of bizarre. Mostly just that I’m seeing someone, I’m so used to being a sexless island. She’s a co-worker, 37(though she looks like she’s 25), has two kids(that don’t live with her), and is getting divorced from her second husband. That’s kind of uncommon too. We’re keeping it secret for now, just so we don’t get shit from anyone at work, not that there’s a reason to. We don’t act like we’re dating. Not even really dating. I guess it’s a friends with benefits thing, but we’re basically exclusive, and it could turn into more. I’m fine with it. She comes over, we cuddle a lot, have sex, watch Netflix, occasionally she stays over. It’s affection, something that I’ve been missing. We’re both pretty independent, so not putting a label on it seems ideal.

I had always thought she was attractive, but didn’t really know her. Several days before Halloween the subject of haunted houses came up at work, as some of the management people had went to a full contact haunted house, which apparently is not very common. You give consent that they can touch you and waive your right to sue them and all that, though you’re not allowed to touch them. Anyway it sounded scary, and Mayumi said she would go, so I got her number and met up with her a couple days later. Erica went too, before she was dating Chris and that was weird she would hang out at our place. We went, it was kind of short, but definitely scarier than other places. Mayumi was very scared, somewhat adorably, as she is small, Japanese and high-pitched. I ended up holding her hand and helping her through, protecting her from the fake dangers of the haunted house. Clearly that bonded us in a way that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. I saw her as being more attractive. A couple days later we went to OMSI After Dark. OMSI is a science museum in Portland, once a month they have a night event where you can drink and it’s fun and such. I made some efforts to kind of put the moves on her, and it worked well enough in a limited capacity. I am still pretty bad with women, but I’ve been reading up on stuff and have certainly improved. The next weekend we had some co-workers over to drink and play Cards Against Humanity, and I sealed the deal there. She was still not divorced at the time, although she and her husband had been essentially separated for a couple years and had remained in a loveless shell of a marriage. Because of that she was hesitant at first to continue things, but I managed to dodge the dreaded Friend Zone, a cold place I had visited too many times before. We’ll see what happens. Even if it ended tomorrow, I’ve enjoyed it and I think it’s been what we’ve both needed. I’m more confident after wooing her and I think she’s regained some self-esteem. She’s mentioned how nice I am, somewhat warily, and commented on little things I’ve done for her that apparently no one did before.

I moved up here to start a band with Chris, but eventually decided there’s no way that will happen. I slacked off on bass, and started wrestling training at a promotion on the other side of Portland. I only did it for several weeks, but it was pretty cool. After an introduction to chest chops in a practice battle royal that left my chest bruised and bloodied for days, I ended up getting pretty sick for several weeks. I think the beating of that practice pushed me over the edge into getting sick. I also had hurt my shoulder early on. It’s been almost a month since I’ve went. I decided I need to get into much better shape before I go back. I’m not sick anymore, I’ve just been slacking on getting back to the gym, haha. It’s good to have a preview of how things will be. It’s realistically too late for a profitable career in pro wrestling, but I’d be happy even just wrestling for 10 bucks a show on the indie circuit. I started up bass again. I had stopped playing Rocksmith and playing tabs after Chris criticized my methods. He’s certainly far better at bass than me, but he never really gave me constructive advice. Now that I think he’s an asshat and don’t care for his opinion, I’m going back to that stuff and it feels good. I just need to get my callouses back.

I went and visited Medford the weekend after Thanksgiving. I’m going down there again the week of New Year’s. I really miss being there sometimes, and living with my old roommates, but there’s no going back now. I had briefly thought of moving back when the roomies first broke up and I figured Ella was going to move back, but it was just a brief thought. I don’t want to give up being here, I’ve barely scratched the surface of living in a somewhat big city. I have problems now, but I just had different ones then, even with tons of friends to hang out with. Once this lease is up I plan to move a little closer into Portland, that should help. And getting a better job, that will help too whenever that happens. I’m not sure what 2015 holds, but I feel optimistic it will be better than this year. I’ve learned a lot, even if some lessons were obvious or ones that I had learned before. Every person I talked to said not to move with Chris, and they were all right, yet I ignored their sagacity anyway. If nothing else, moving when I did with who I did got me to Portland, so that’s worth something.