Bullying in OD

It’s pretty much an open secret that I’m a wrestling fan. So, last night, I watched Monday Night Raw. Between Vince getting fired and the tournament to crown a new WWE champion, there was this:

Now, you can argue about why the WWE has decided to start this campaign just now, particularly in light of CM Punk actually naming their bullying campaign as part of their hypocracy a couple of weeks ago (it was the last thing he said before his mic was cut).

But it’s not this I’m on about here. During that video, you’ll notice that the objective of the Be A STAR campaign is to eradicate bullying completely.

Nice sentiment, but it’ll never happen. Certainly not in my lifetime.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I have absolutely no love for bullies and find them abhorrant. I know what they can do to their victims lives. The reason I know this so well is this:

I was a victim from bullying.

From about 9 years old right through till I left school and intermittently afterwards. I get it. I was one of the youngest in my year, small, not very strong, no good at sports, prefered to read, intellegent and, well, a bit odd. Apart from the small bit (I, following my dad, shot up at age 16, though I’m still not the tallest bloke in the world) it’s all still true.

But it was hard, when everyone else in my class tormented me during one maths class (it was the year I had 5 different maths teachers and this one was particularly incompetent) or being caught passing a note round the following week in the class before maths on which everyone wrote what they were planning to do to me next period.

Or when someone decided to beat me up outside a church because I wouldn’t give them a cigarette (true, that’s how my nose got broken).

Or deciding that I’d make an excellent target for snowballs, or stones.

But when I heard that bit, it reminded me of a comment from episode 1 of The Wire. Carver and Hulk are going on about the best way to deal with drug dealers when this exchange takes place:

Shakima Greggs: You rogue motherfuckers kill me. Fighting the war on drugs, one brutality case at a time.

Det. Ellis Carver: You can’t even call this shit a war.

Det. Thomas Hauk: Why not?

Det. Ellis Carver: Wars end.

Bullying will not be eradicated anytime soon. It’s far, far too ingraned in society. Look, I get it. Survival of the fittest and all that. It’s why communes in the 70’s didn’t last. For all the talk, locely as it was, about about true democracy and everyone doing their fair share of work, the stronger one’s started bullying the others. It’s why there’s so many arguments on The Apprentice: you have a bunch of people who think they are the strongest in one place, it’s going to be bumpy.

What needs to be done, rather than trying to wipe bullying out is two things. The first is that we have to make bullying uncool. In my lifetime, we’ve gone from beiong gay being controversial to being homophobic being so. It’s that sort of change that will make a difference.

The second is to offer support to people who are being bullied. The scars aren’t just physical but mental. Bullying can cause low self esteem and confidence (both of which I have) and depression. It’s known to be a cause of suicide. Support for people who are being bullied is vital. This is why, rather than support something which has lofty goals but will not succeed in those for a long, long time, I’d rather support It Gets Better, Childline, Beatbullying and The Samaritans

I don’t mean to piss on the Be A STAR campaign. I admire the ambition, but I don’t think they are planning to do what’s actually needed.

At to all those who are victims or bullying, I say this: before you opt for the razor blade, knife, bottle of pills with a vodka chaser or tie as improvised noose, talk to someone. Anyone. Doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, a sibling, another family member, a neighbour, teacher, friend, someone from your chuch/youth group/sports team (if applicable) or even a complete stranger on the phone. Speak to someone.

You don’t have to suffer on your own.

It may feel like it at times, but you are not alone.

Will