Dear God,
I woke up this morning thinking about the guy colleagues I studied with. It felt so good to be productive alongside them. I woke up calm — not anxious — but comforted, clear on what I need to focus on. My goal is simple: master my drills and thoroughly review everything I learned this past week for my exam.
I felt comfortable enough to share parts of myself with them — two of my songs and a scene from a film I was in, where the credits show my birth name. That felt vulnerable. I pray they honor their word and keep what I shared private. Please protect me, especially regarding John remembering that film. He’s seen it before, and although it still plays during certain holidays, I haven’t seen a residual check in a long time. Guard my reputation, my name, and my peace.
Moving forward, I must earn nothing less than an A or I will be terminated. Like Jim said, “Sweetie, it’s do-or-die time.” It sounds intense, but it’s the reality. I don’t want to obsess over the grade — I want to pursue excellence. I’m aiming for 100s from here on out. I want to give everything I have, the same way I plan to give everything to my scripts and recording sessions. This training is sharpening me. It’s reminding me how disciplined I must be as a singer-songwriter and actress in the near future.
I’ve endured so many trials. My dad has been sick — but I declare healing over him. My mom has struggled with sleepless nights — but I believe restoration is coming for her too. My belongings were violated in my hotel. I had to change rooms before a major exam and missed five questions — a failing score here. Then I became sick. Then I failed another test by eight questions. I started questioning my intelligence. I even began packing my bags until my roommate and my dad encouraged me to stay. My hair began falling out in clumps. Someone on this platform criticized my prayers and caused unnecessary stress.
And then You made a way — adjusting the exam schedule and granting me an extra day to study. A miracle. And beyond that, You’ve been teaching me lessons about resilience, discernment, and strength.
I want to succeed fully. I want the confidence of knowing I graduated with my class. With Your help and my hard work, I will be unstoppable. Faith without works is dead (James 2:26), and I am willing to put in the work.
Sometimes I sense Your guidance — that still, small voice. During lectures about safety, about flight attendants harmed abroad, about people imprisoned for unknowingly carrying prohibited items, I feel You teaching me awareness and composure. You are training me to stay calm under pressure. To grow through challenges. To be careful where I invest my energy. To stand firm — like I did with Irock when I told him I would not pay another dime until the first project was complete.
3.5 hours have passed since I began writing this. I ate breakfast, picked up a Valentine’s gift from my colleague Michelle, and spoke with my dad on FaceTime for half an hour. Now, before I dive back into studying, I need to lie down and pray. I’m still tired. I need renewed focus.
I’m also recognizing who my true friends are. Some have gone silent. Others have shown up — Joshua, Paul, Clark, Sister Renee, Mrs. Colleen, and now Jillian, who called just to check on me. Jillian feels like a sister already — confident, honest, grounded. It felt intentional that she called while I was praying about friendship.
I asked You for genuine friends, and You are revealing them.
I am grateful — for breakfast, for my roommate, for hot water for a bath later, for a working phone, for this bed beneath me. I will no longer overlook these simple blessings.
When I rest, please refresh me. When I study my drills, let me clearly visualize each step and confidently speak every required word. Replace exhaustion with clarity and discipline.
I pray for my enemies. Protect me from their intentions. Shield my heart and mind from their words. Surround me with supportive, honest people. Keep me in the palm of Your hand, just as You protected those in the fire. In every circumstance, grow me in wisdom and discernment.
I also pray for anyone reading this. Remind them they are deeply loved. Let them feel seen and cared for today — through a kind call, a comforting meal, their favorite weather, or a cherished memory. Be near to the brokenhearted.
And for me — strengthen my mind. Sharpen my focus. I cannot graduate without Your help. I trust Your will, whatever the outcome. Yet I desire success — abundant success. Teach me to give generously without self-sacrifice that harms me. Teach me to love even those who misunderstand me. Keep me protected and grounded.
Thank You for all You have done and all You continue to do in my life.
Amen❤️❤️❤️
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