February 14, 2026
Happy Valentine’s Day to those who celebrate! I’m not celebrating this year - not even a Galentines Day thing (which was yesterday, Friday the 13th), so… whatevs.
It’s been such a long time since I’ve written. I feel like a whole lot and yet nothing has happened. I have been trying to take notes as things I want to write about pop up. It’s honestly easier to write short entries than it is to get it all out in one long entry, but here we are right now.
I need to get these things out!
The diary researchers sent me a message (email) that they are close to publishing a paper about diary writing in social crises. If you want to follow along a bit, they’ve actually started a diary here on Prosebox. You can read a little bit about it here. They explain it better than I can! I hope that someday in the future, people can use some of this information to help better themselves. I’ve always said that writing here is better than therapy for me. I’m forever grateful for this format.
Updates on movement:
Things are moving closer with the loft in [former city]. I’ve started the application process, but I want to get things in writing with my current apartment because I will have a lapse between leases by four days. I need to make sure I can pay a prorated four days after my lease expires here in [current city]. Details, details, but they count!
I asked ChatGPT about my behavioral tendencies based on what I’ve asked it to help me with. Here’s what Chat had to say:
Synopsis:
You’re a decisive, high-standards operator who moves quickly and thinks strategically, but uncertainty and delays trigger stress that pulls you into overanalysis, impatience, and urgency-driven decisions.
Improvement Path:
Train yourself to treat ambiguity as neutral rather than threatening, and impose a pause between anxiety and action — structure, delayed decisions, and focusing only on controllable variables will stabilize your judgment and energy.
I realize that Chat only knows the things I usually want to analyze, so it doesn’t know the “calm” me, if there’s such a thing. So I don’t know if this is super accurate, but for the things I stress about, it feels pretty correct. I tend to hyper-fixate and overanalyze.
Anyway, I think it’s interesting. And I feel like Chat’s suggestions are true: I love structure and schedule and not having a full time job is really fucking me up with that.
So yeah, how’s the contract thing going? It’s going!
I’m working with a contract manufacturer in [former city], and I’ve now been to visit him twice, killing several birds with a couple of stones by going back to [former city] twice in the last two weeks. The owner of this manufacturing company is sooooooo nice and really handsome, so that makes it nice to work with him. His staff is pretty cool too. He tells me that he interacts with many companies who need product development support and he doesn’t do that, so asked me if I’d like to have him direct these people to me. I said YES!! Send them to me!
Something’s gotta turn into a full time thing, right?
Anyway, I still don’t have a signed contract, so I’m still working off of a handshake. I talked to the “boss” yesterday and told him I’d invoice him for my expenses and monthly fee, and he said that’s fine and promised me the contract, but ughh. I mean, if he’s paying me I’m fine, right?
I HATE AMBIGUITY! Chat knows what’s up.
What else?
Oh, Mom and Dad.
So, Dad has this condition called Myasthenia Gravis. It attacks all the muscles in your body and can lead to what’s called an “MG Crisis”…where your throat muscles don’t work and your whole body pretty much collapses and you can’t even get words out! We thought he was having a crisis last week, so my bro took him to the ER where they bumbled around (this country bumpkin ER suuuuuccckkksss), and eventually sent him home because he was getting a little better and was just exhausted and needed to go to bed.
Long story, but he’d had some kind of cold the week prior (I saw him when he was starting to feel sick two weeks ago), and got some meds for it including prednisone, which could have been the culprit, but the bottom line is that he’s feeling better now.
The thing is, anything can happen to either one of them at a moment’s notice. I guess that’s just old age. It just sucks kind of waiting for those things to happen.
Both he and Mom are fine right now.
The other day, I was scrolling through my iphone voicemails. I’ve kept a bunch from both my mom and my dad. My mom used to call me on the reg and leave sweet vms. I don’t think she even knows how to use the phone anymore. It’s just such a weird thing. Is it wrong to feel like she’s already gone? She’s kind to me when I visit, but it’s kind of like she doesn’t really even care if I’m there, ya know?
Weird feelings.
In other news, I’ve let my social media channels sort of drop off. I was taking pics of my outfits and posting every day, still doing the vintage thing and making sure I was wearing at least one pre-loved item per day, but when the ice storms hit, I sort of dropped off and I haven’t been able to pick the ball back up. I want to…but I feel like it would help to have more structure in my life - like a schedule and a goddam job. I know I shouldn’t wait for this kind of structure. I just need to make it happen. Why is this falling by the wayside?
But what I really wanted to say is that I got excited about something that I saw the other day in a western boutique:
A few months ago, I “splurged” on this super nice fringe suede vest in a thrift store. Normally I wouldn’t pay $60 for an item (and yes, I was employed full-time at the time), but I looked the item up online and it was an expensive item. Prices varied, but last week I walked into a fashionable and trendy western shop and saw that same exact vest for $600!!
It’s stuff like that that makes me fall so much more in love with pre-loved and vintage shopping. It’s thrilling!
I have some other things still rattling around in my brain, but I’m now tired of writing and want to get on with the day, so I’ll stop for now. I feel better that I’ve gotten all this out.
I do kind of wish I had some kind of special thing happening today with regards to Valentine’s Day, but I’ve been my own Valentine for so many years now, I suppose it’s like any other day. I used to buy myself flowers, but I think that finalizing the application for the loft might feel like a good thing to do (I feel so strongly about this loft that I’ve already found a name for it! That’s when shit gets real…I’ll share the name when I’ve been approved and it’s a done deal).
So, love on yourselves and have a wonderful V-Day! 💗
xox,
GS
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