Dear God,
I admit I’m a little tipsy… but You already knew that.
Tonight, I organized a small gathering—Jim, Jillian, Alex, John, Karla, and me. It was really nice. We all ended up in the jacuzzi together. Before that, I started my evening with Amarya. I treated her to a drink. She had bought me groceries earlier, so I returned the favor with cocktails. I paid with Shervy’s card, and honestly, it felt good to treat her.
Amarya has a man who usually pays for everything, but this time I insisted. I really like her. We met before boarding a plane together and instantly connected. She bought me dinner and paid for drinks that first night, and I felt something real with her right away. She’s amazing. Since I never had a sister who loved me the way I needed, it feels like I’ve become the big sister to a girl who truly loves me—and that feels fabulous.
After drinks, we walked to a liquor store and bought a lot of alcohol—over $200 worth. I tried Kendall Jenner’s 818 for the first time, and I have to admit, I was impressed.
If I ever start my own business, I’d create a petite-like-me shoe line—sizes 2.5 to 5.5 for women. I wear a 3.5. It sounds crazy, but it’s also kind of adorable. It reminds me of Cinderella. I loved that movie because she had small feet. Maybe I’d call the line Glass Slippers.
When we got back from the liquor store, I called six colleagues, and they all met me at my hotel room before we walked down to the jacuzzi together. We had such a good time—one of those nights I’ll remember. I love my colleagues. Jim is in his 60s, Jillian in her 40s, Karla in her 30s, my roommate & John are in their 20s—it was such a fun mix of people and energy. I loved racing John in the pool, lounging with Jim, taking pictures with Karla, and eventually collapsing drunk next to my roommate afterward. At one point, I walked to Amarya’s room and somehow walked straight into a wall.
Now hours have passed. It’s almost 4:30 a.m. I woke up with a small knot on my forehead—tender, but not bruised. I had a nightmare and dreamed I had three pimples on my nose and one on my chin. I rushed to the mirror… and it was just a dream. I know it sounds vain, but You know my history with acne and having to go on Accutane. I immediately put calming gel on my face—not because it prevents breakouts, but because I love the name. I need to calm down.
God, I’m still talking badly about myself. Please forgive me. I really need Your help. I know my brain keeps replaying the same negative thoughts over and over. After swimming, I retreated to one of the rooms and spilled my heart out to three girls—talking about my insecurities and everything else.
But the truth is, all I really need to do is study.
In the morning, I plan to do my hair, do laundry, and study—study hard. I’ll watch the videos, review commands, go over homework, and learn my flight attendant bag. I need to give this everything I have.
Timing matters. I know that. I need to learn how to do better in life. From now on, I want to be on my best behavior: be on time, follow the rules, and aim to be a game changer.
Today we learned something important. They said some people are here for the money, some people are here because they’re excellent—and some people are game changers. First Officer Alexander said that. Earlier, the first bus back to the hotel missed us, leaving three of us behind—Tee, my roommate, and me. The second bus was called by First Officer Alexander, and we talked the whole way back.
I can feel my sleeping medication kicking in now. I can barely type anymore.
I love You so much.
Amen 🤍
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