I had a great time at the theater yesterday afternoon. I was having stomach issues right as we left the house to go to the play. I told Rick if I hadn’t committed to going, I would’ve asked him to turn around and go home.
Sitting in traffic was absolute torture. But traffic in Los Angeles is a given at every hour of the day except 3 a.m. When we arrived, we noticed my friend K sitting in his car. We greeted one another, and then the first order of business was finding a restroom.
I practically ran to the bathroom. I was stuck in the stall for over ten minutes. And then (TMI) as I was wiping and readying to flush I saw blood. Not a little blood. Not a murder scene, either. Just enough to cause a little shock and worry. I washed my hands and stepped into the hall where Rick was waiting. I whispered to Rick that I was bleeding. I told him I needed to stay for Heidi. I promised her I’d be there.
I had been in there so long, the theater had already opened for seating. Rick said K was inside, saving us seats. K knows me all too well, and had made sure to save an aisle seat for me. It’s an anxiety/ADHD thing. I HAVE TO HAVE AN AISLE SEAT.
Rick and K bantered and riffed like they always do. But I sat there in silence, just doing my best to play it cool and stay as present as possible for my friends, and not belying the fact that I was panicking. I had messaged two friends about my plight, and both urged me to go to the ER. I told them I would reassess after the show. Two hours. They objected, and I silenced my phone, and forced my attention on the show.
The show itself was performances from excerpts of full length plays by independent writers. Six performances in all. The first performance was a very powerful piece about the January 6th insurrection, as told from the prospective of the insurrectionists. It was four characters. The women had held Ashley Babbit as she died, and were inconsolable. The two men of the group screamed and yelled, and one, the definite “leader” of the group kept angrily insisting that they were the chosen ones. In the end, three of the members decided to denounce what they had done, and left. It was timely and profound.
The second act was confusing and unremarkable. But the THIRD! Oh, the third act, and the amazing actor playing one of the two roles delivered a performance so relevant to me and many others in the audience, that I noticed more than a few people crying, myself included. His monologue about anxiety, ADHD, and mental paralysis really touched me. I turned to Rick and said, “I need to meet that guy. I have to talk to him.”
Heidi’s performance was metaphor in action, and it really resonated with me. Deadbeat boyfriend, finally deciding that it’s time to end the relationship… yeah, I totally got it. The rest of the acts were sorta unremarkable.
After the end of the show, we were all invited to hang out at the bar connected to the theater with cast and crew. K was all for it, and in spite of not feeling well, I decided that networking needed to take precedent over my aching insides. We picked a corner booth, and K ordered us a round. Then the theater director came over to us and introduced himself. He wanted to know what WE thought. That was pretty cool.
The thing with hanging out with K is that he is a well known director and actor, and he gets recognized wherever we go. So sometimes, we get lumped in as his entourage. People will talk to us because we are with him. Then they discover that Rick has his own merit in the entertainment industry, and was also a casting agent, and that I am a photographer.
While we were sipping our drinks and holding court, the actor I wanted to meet walked in. K said, “I need to meet that guy! I want to cast him in SOMETHING!” So I took it upon myself to wave at him to get his attention, then we all got up and approached him at once, making introductions, and congratulating him on such a relatable delivery. I talked with him about my own struggles with anxiety and told him he really convinced me. He replied that he has crippling anxiety, so the performance was based on his own struggles. K spoke with him and they exchanged contact info. K told him he might have a role for him, possibly with a Marvel project. Then he spoke with Rick. They were really getting into an involved convo, so I left to sit at the booth. They talked for over twenty minutes, and Rick invited him to an independent movie producers meetup. He seemed really excited about the event and told Rick he wanted the event info. The event is tomorrow, and I think he might actually show up.
While they were talking, Heidi came to the table and we talked. I told her that I am available to help with anything she might need in terms of producing a full length version of her play. I offered my photography and sewing skills, and she said she needed BOTH. We were deep in conversation and completely vibing, and for a few hours, I felt normal and happy.
It was getting to be close to 7:30, and K was hungry, so we decided it was time to go. We begged off on his invite to join him for dinner. We stepped outside into the cool night air and had a couple of cigarettes before heading home.
I LOVE live theater, and I think after talking to Heidi, that I would really like to WRITE a play and have her produce it for me. She loved the idea! So yours truly is going to start reading up on how to write a freaking PLAY. My brother is an award winning playwright, who has sold the rights to his first play, and it is being produced all over the world in small independent and community theaters. If he can do it, so can I.
Sometimes, living in Los Angeles is invigorating. Last night was one for the books. As we were driving home, I got a notification that Spencer, the actor we all loved, had added me on Instagram. COOL.
My bff suggested we grab some yogurt to soothe my tummy. So we stopped at Smart and Final and grabbed a few groceries. Frozen meals for Rick’s lunch for the next few days, in case I am not feeling well, the yogurt, bananas for me, and sugar free jello cups. I am going to take it easy on eating the next few days.
Once we were home, I was able to take my “mask” off, and the pain and fatigue reared their ugly heads. We watched K’s scene in the second season of Picard, as I ate my vanilla yogurt, before deciding it was horizontal time, and I went to bed.
This morning, Rick has gone to work, and I am left to tidy the cramped and cluttered apartment solo for our inspection this afternoon by the complex management. I am a little perturbed at Rick, because his solution to the dilemma is not doing MUCH because he thinks it’s FINE. Me, on the other hand, will be working my ass off for the next five hours getting the apartment ready, only to reach the allotted time slot of 1-5, where I will be PARALYZED and not able to do SHIT until they do their little tour.
There is a LOT to be done. The clutter itself is mainly due to my reselling business, and also cleaning out my parents place. There are stacks of bins in three areas of the apartment. Large mesh bags of laundry, a dish drainer chock full of clean dishes that need to be put away, dusting, tidying, cleaning the toilet, sweeping and mopping floors… you get the idea.
Will they discover that Rick broke the light in the fridge? Will they be upset with all of the art and photographs on the walls? Peeling paint in the kitchen and bathroom?
I am panicking. I know it’s not logical, and I know they’re mainly looking at plumbing and smoke detectors, but will they comment on the bins?
I don’t like people I do not know in my home, picking it apart. My anxiety is at all all time high. I hate speaking with people. I hate being under scrutiny!
I know it’ll be okay. I am just doing what I do.
I am SO THANKFUL that Zoe is not here. Her presence would have put eyes on us, and I don’t need to get evicted for allowing an extra person, not on the lease, to live here.
Anyway, I have used up the hour I allowed for me to write this entry. Now I have to get to WORK. I told Rick to expect that I am probably going to be exhausted and cranky when he gets home.
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