Today, you revealed a lot to me. You wanted me up here so I could focus. Even though this room is smaller, Amarya reminded me how cozy it is. She purposely picked a room similar to mine—her reason was that it felt more comforting and homey.
My roommate Alex is amazing. She’s so sweet and kind, and we have deep conversations. I know why I’m with her. You wanted me to be with someone I could feel familiar and safe around. She knocks on my door so I don’t oversleep, we watch out for each other, and we study together. She’s literally the perfect roommate.
Today, I’ve been learning so much about myself. I don’t even know why I decided to tell her I was a heavy smoker. “You won’t be a smoker anymore now,” she said. And she’s right—that’s the old me. We vaped in her car, but honestly, vaping sucks. I felt like I was inhaling straight chemicals. With weed, I feel like I enter a different zone. I smoked so much before coming here—right up until boarding the plane. That’s how much I smoked. But now, I feel like my relationship with weed is going to completely change moving forward.
Did you know the airline I’m working for has a strict zero-tolerance policy for weed and alcohol? You can’t consume alcohol within eight hours of takeoff, and absolutely no weed at any time during employment. It truly sucks—no weed, no alcohol.
I snuck up to Amarya’s hotel room to drink wine during our study session. Little did I know her roommate decided not to go home and stayed to study as well. That was awkward.
Today I also learned that Bianca feels threatened by me. She’s a former pilot, worked for Emirates, and is now applying for the same job with my airline. She has all these qualifications, yet she’s jealous of me.
It started on the shuttle back to the hotel. She had to take a call, so I couldn’t play music. Jim—the guy who let me borrow his jacket yesterday—seemed annoyed too. “Bianca needs to make a call, so turn the music down,” he said. I later learned Jim talks a lot of crap behind people’s backs. I’m cautious of him, of Bianca—and honestly, I’m exhausted.
I feel my body shutting down. Sleep is taking over.
Dear God,
I pray that I sleep well tonight. I can hardly keep my eyes open.
Amen.
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