Dear God,
First and foremost, thank You for a good day. I did absolutely nothing—and that’s my favorite kind of day. It started with coffee, then studying, watching TV, and laying in bed. Shervy brought me home a salad, and we’ve been getting along really well. He’s very sweet to me, and for that I’m so grateful You’ve placed him in my life.
I’m laying in bed with my LED mask on, but You already know that. The free time I would normally spend smoking, I spend with You instead. I’m no longer alone with my thoughts, ruminating and letting them steal my time. Still, I miss the inhalation of the green You’ve put on this earth—something I believe was meant to be used, not abused. I abused it, smoking every day. But now that this new job has come along, I don’t want to risk it.
This job will be the first time I’ve ever made the kind of money that can truly help my career. I believe I’ll be working on a private plane for an NFL team. Funny enough, I don’t want a husband—even a rich one. I doubt anyone could ever love me the way Shervy does. Still, I choose my career and the chance to make a positive change in the entertainment industry.
Iroc—just like I knew all along—is a con artist. He told me everything I needed to know about himself. He’s a bad guy, plain and simple. I just ask for Your help in understanding what I’m meant to learn from this. Tomorrow, I plan to follow up with him about connecting me with someone in LA. He’s a liar and a thief—it’s written all over him—but that’s okay. At least You’ve given me discernment to see the wolf early.
I never liked him from the beginning. He lied about meeting in Dallas, lied about meeting a famous producer, lied about meeting me in LA—lie after lie. Still, I’ll ask if he reached out to anyone on my behalf. I just realized I was supposed to call him two days ago—oops. I guess it’s on me now to see what’s really going on.
I feel anxious because I want to release a song so badly. I want to work on music, to move my career forward—but I’m also exhausted and need to recoup. I have to give my full focus to preparing for my photoshoot, studio time, and studying as well. That’s why getting proper sleep is so important.
It’s only half past eight, and I’m already clean and in bed. All that’s left is to put my earbuds in.
Thank You for not letting my addiction take over me. I can’t believe I didn’t even think about smoking today. Even with my own rental car, I have no desire to go to a dispensary. I just want to be happy. I want joy, healthy food, laughter, and travel—basically what every human wants.
I wish I were rich so badly. I really believe I’d be happier. They say money doesn’t buy happiness, but every time someone gives me money, I smile.
If I didn’t have to study, I’d upload a song, focus on my body, take dance classes, and work on choreography for my tour.
Shervy is doing his usual routine—watching television, eating something not very nutritional, then falling asleep. I’m a creature of habit too, even while maintaining my unpredictability.
Please help me sleep well tonight. Please help me tomorrow with my life. I can’t do it without You. Please detox my body and renew me with strength.
I love You with all my heart and soul.
Amen.
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