Dear God,
In just a few minutes, I have to brush my teeth, clean myself, get dressed, gather my things, and grab coffee—all within 30 minutes. I also need to roll a blunt before I head out.
Someone just wrote me privately and said, “You’re 41 and…” I have no idea what came after that, but honestly, that was all I needed to read. It sounded like it was about to go left or wasn’t coming from positivity.
Then I saw a roach on my Audrey Hepburn poster, and another one on my fridge. I killed both and thanked You for letting me see them so I could kill them both. I rarely have roaches, but today there were two.
Today is Wednesday. Three more days and I’m free—no more working at the school. I feel happy about that. I don’t want to deal with the same people anymore. The kids are cool, but they probably won’t care when I leave. I told them ahead of time that I’m going, and they don’t seem to care much. Oh well. To my credit, the ones who will care are nonverbal. They’re the ones I spend the most time with. The verbal kids… maybe one will care.
I feel a little bad today. Please help me move—if that’s in my best interest. I just want to be somewhere clean, with new furniture, a new bed and mattress—everything new. Even the bedsheets. I just have to work for it.
I pray that this time next year, my life will be completely different. The new big-wig guy suggested I do a concert tour in May. A tour?! I was freaked out. Am I ready for this? Of course I am!
I’ve been nervous about all the money I’ll have to spend, but I know things will change soon. I know You will provide. I know my new two-story rental will be amazing. I’m going to live my life happy.
Today I have to work with Anabel. I love her, so it will be fine. I need to make sure I eat very little today; lose all the weight I gained from stress eating. I need to be on time. I need to go over so many things. I need to believe that with You, all things are possible.
Guide my footsteps, oh Lord. Guard my mind. Protect me from all evil. Let me stay focused on You. Let no one deter me. Let me focus on Your promises. Let me look for Your miracles—in Jesus’ name.
And Lord, most of all, please talk to me and let me be still enough to hear You.
Amen.
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