Whew. What a holiday. Here are the bullets I quickly wrote down in my notes app. I’ll try to quickly flesh out each one:
-
Christmas with the fam: was so very meh. My dad was melancholy. My mom was a little annoyed at times. My SIL was sweet but angry at my bro. My bro was a dick. My niece was cute, but not sweet by any means. The dogs were little angels. The cat stayed away.
-
Christmas Dinner: nobody wanted to put together the Christmas dinner, so I took charge, and everyone let me. The turkey was already smoked, so that was good. All I had to do was put it in the oven to re-heat. I’d made a couple of other side dishes, I put things together, set the table, lit the candles and called everyone to dinner. It was fine, and we had a good meal, but every meal gets more difficult.
-
Bro: was a dick the whole time and then, at one point, clearly wanted to sit down and talk to me…but he got as far as complaining about how “under pressure” he is and I said, “okay…” so he got up and stormed out saying, “nice chatting with you.” I said, “likewise.” WHAT??! If I ever say anything he tells me I’m being defensive, so I try really hard not to be reactive at all. He just wants to pick fights with me. What is that? It’s getting worse, and I don’t want to engage. I’m so scared of what will happen when mom and dad go.
-
My SIL: hates my bro. It’s clear. I told Dad that I am sure that she is saving all of her money from her translating job (remember, they don’t pay rent or bills) so that she can leave his ass. I’m praying so hard that she stays through Mom and Dad’s transitions. She cried when she told me that he does nothing to help Mom and Dad, and she’s doing it all. Which then made ME feel terrible…but THEY were the ones who chose to live there. Of course, my bro isn’t going to lift a damn finger. Of course, she’ll be expected to help. They knew that was going to be the deal. Still, my bro watches pretty closely (yet peripherally), and I’m glad he insisted on going to the ER with Dad when he fell, so… their dynamic is just fucked up.
-
Dad: is struggling. He’s actually doing so much better than I thought with his broken arm, but he’s struggling. I’d mentioned giving him a pedicure because he can’t really put his shoes on before and I made good during my visit. His feet are in such bad shape. I had to use industrial-type clippers and was able to get a little length off his thick toenails (🤢) and then I rubbed in some foot lotion and put some compression socks on his swollen ankles. SO MUCH BETTER.
-
Mom: is struggling too, but honestly, I think some of it is simply for show. She knows that if she plays dumb and even more demented than ever, she’ll have all of her needs taken care of! And it’s pretty true. All of her meals are served to her and all of her meds are handed to her. She does nothing but eat, sleep and watch TV. At one point, I told her she needed to take a shower because it will make her sick if she doesn’t. My SIL determined it’d been two weeks since she’d showered!! OMG!! She yelled at me! Snapped and said that she doesn’t smell. I was blunt and said that yes, she does! She refused to let me touch her even though I offered to give her a “spa day”. It’s so bad. I could see my dad quietly crying and he even told my mom that if she continues to refuse to bathe, she’s going to have to go to a home where they will make her bathe! Oof. What a time.
-
Mom’s In-Home Care: The woman they have coming in doesn’t do a great job. It’s a long, long story and I’d need a whole entry to write it out. But the bottom line is, they really need someone there 5 days a week to make sure things are clean (including Mom’s body) and meals are made. I finally demanded the phone number to the in-home care place and made a call. They said that it’s no problem to go from 3 days a week to 5. They’ll start this week. I’m waiting for a call back from them. I want to make sure they get a new person, too.
-
Staying/Leaving: I spent exactly one night in that chaos house. I can’t stand to be there but know that I have to in order to make sure Mom and Dad are okay. I don’t really give much of a rip about my bro, SIL and niece (I mean, I do, but I can’t handle their chaotic, dysfunctional lifestyle), so I left later in the afternoon to head to Marce’s place in [old city]
-
State Trooper Warning: As soon as I left their place, not 5 minutes into the drive, I was crossing the big bridge over the lake and noticed a pedestrian walking along the bridge, so I made sure to slow down and drive carefully to make sure this person walked safely on the non-existent shoulder! But as soon as I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw a fucking copper with his lights on!! He even turned on his siren! Motherfucker. I pulled over, and the douche told me that I had been speeding - like 25 miles over the speed limit. I told him that was impossible because I was watching my speed closely. He said his radar is checked every morning and that it was working just fine. Ughhh. This guy was clearly trying to get his quota, and I knew it would not behoove me to argue. But it just exacerbates the fact that you can’t trust law enforcement anymore. This dude was blatantly lying and he knew it. He did come back with my driver’s license and a warning ticket, and though I wanted to argue some more, I ended up thanking him for the goddamn warning. Fuck him. But I was on my way.
-
Marce’s: got to Marce’s and dropped off my stuff and had a quick chat before we headed out to her daughter and son-in-law’s new house. I told her I didn’t mind being designated driver because I could tell she’d already had a couple of glasses of wine. I was relieved to be able to do it because her driving is already a little erratic. Another good reason not to drink anymore.
-
The New House: Marce’s two daughters were there with their partners. The house was huge and beautiful. I got the tour and got to meet the new boyfriend of the younger one. We had 5 little dogs in all, so they had a puppy party! But Marce got more and more buzzed as she had another couple of glasses of wine, and the younger daughter with the new BF was mortified! The younger daughter is in the ministry and is a 32-year-old virgin who is saving herself for marriage, so a little uptight. I sat on the sidelines and giggled ONLY because I’ve known these daughters since they were babies, and you would never have thought that the younger one would be like this! But it kind of got bad. The younger daughter was actually MAD! It was weird. She acts like a judgmental mother to Marce. I do remember about 20 years ago she caught Marce smoking weed in her own backyard and had an absolute fit. I guess she’s so judgmental to both of her parents because they’d both get super fucked up when the girls were younger (Marce and her husband got divorced after her husband hurt someone in a drunk driving incident). Anyway, it was amusing to watch, but it goes to show that every family has wild dynamics.
-
The drive back to Marce’s: was mostly Marce calling her daughter a “little bitch” the whole way home! At that point I figured out that Marce was pretty shitfaced. She kept saying, “I’m not drunk!” But I did tell her that she was clearly buzzed. I was so glad I was driving!! OMG.
-
Saturday brunch: Next morning we did a brunch downtown. The idea was to go to this super cute pop-up on the rooftop of a fun brunch place, and it was super cute, but the weather was so unseasonably warm that the winter stuff seemed weird and it was actually HOT on the rooftop, which had been enclosed. It was still a nice time. Small group because I’d planned it at the last minute and most of my friends from [old city] were traveling out of town.
-
Drive home: I drove back to [current city] directly after the brunch. It was a fine drive since it was Saturday afternoon during the holiday lull after Christmas. Most people still hanging out with fam. Martini was def tired of riding in the car, and I was too, honestly.
-
Lost Weekend: it was kind of a lost weekend. I relaxed on Saturday evening. Called Dad. He told me the good news that Mom got up Saturday morning and declared that she was going to take a shower!! And then she did! She took an everything shower and even washed her hair. Dad asked why she finally decided to take a shower and she said, “Because [Ginger] said that I stink!” I was shocked because I didn’t think that anything I said was comprehended by her. But that’s why I think she knows more than she lets on. Regardless, it was very good news to me. Probably the highlight and the best news of the whole weekend.
-
NYE Outlook: So, remember many entries ago I told you that a guy that I know from old work relationships and lives in Honduras is moving back to the US in the new year and said he’d be in my state over the holidays? He asked me to do something for NYE. We made tentative plans, but appears he’s gone off the radar! Honestly, I don’t feel like tracking him down or chasing him because…WTF. YOU asked ME out on a date and never followed through with plans. We had one phone call about 6 weeks ago and he was like, “what do you want to do??” And I was like, I’m open! But he never formulated a plan. And now, we are just a couple of days/nights away with no plans and I never heard from him again. And I guess I don’t care. I’d honestly rather spend NYE watching Andy and Anderson giggle while burning my 12th wish and setting it out into the universe. I guess we’ll see. Do I ask this dude what happened to him?
Better go. Already spent too much time on this recap. It’s Monday morning and I need to get on with the job search. Keep moving, keep moving!!
I hope your holiday was merry and bright!
xox,
GS
Loading comments...