Something I’ve been wanting to write about for a few days now is the terrible tragedy of Rob Reiner and his wife, Michelle. I am almost obsessed with this horrible situation because it reminds me so much of my experience with a mentally ill child during my relationship with SexyPants.
Every time I listen to more about the murders, I hear more and more similarities, and I think more and more about how I was in such an unsafe environment when SexyPant’s son (I called him SOS back in the day) was living in the same house we were - and even when he was not!
SOS had been in and out of mental health facilities for the year before SP and I got engaged. After the engagement, through a human clerical error, SOS was released from a maximum security mental health facility and into the custody of SexyPants (and by default, me…because I was then living in the same house).
There were evenings when I was terrified of this kid. He was well over 6‘3” tall when he was 17 years old, and he was completely unstable. His meds were being adjusted all the time since he was still growing and his brain chemistry was changing by the minute. He was huge, loud, and frightening, and he knew it.
One night, during a particularly terrifying fight between SP and SOS, I could hear things turning violent. I threatened to call 911. I can’t remember exactly how things de-escalated, but they did eventually, but it lead to many, many conversations about how I should NEVER call the police on this kid - even if things get violent.
WTF.
I ended up telling SexyPants that if we did indeed end up married, it was very important that my home be a place of peace and sanctuary. I asked him if he could promise me that.
And SexyPants said no. I’ll never forget it.
Long story, but we ended up breaking up over other things (mainly his infidelity), but I can’t help but think over and over again that this kid could have killed us in our sleep at any time and that it was a blessing that we broke up. For as heartbroken as I was at the time, I am still here, alive and well, and not having to deal with a schizophrenic stepson.
And as I understand it now, even though I haven’t talked to SP in a long, long time, that kid is now well into his 20s, addicted to meth, or at least he was for quite some time, gotten a girl pregnant (and she had the baby, but the baby was taken away from them), living in some kind of space that SP has created for him. I know back in the day he’d purchased a house where SOS could live, but the last I’d heard was that the kid was in some kind of halfway house. I believe SOS has been in and out of jail frequently.
Alllll of that to say…
The Reiner story feels eerily close to something I’ve experienced. And it’s bringing up a lot of emotion. And I just feel so heartbroken for that whole family. I imagine them enduring unspeakable horror. And probably guilt and shame and embarrassment and sadness and overwhelming fear.
Of course, I don’t know the whole story, but I suspect we’ll be hearing more and more about what went down at Conan O’Brien’s party and all of the events leading up to the fateful experience.
RIP, Rob and Michelle Reiner 💔
GS
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