5:43 pm
12/22/25
I had a weird dream where Zendaya was in it. That was the girl I worked with who I liked, but she reminded me a lot of Mariana. I never made a move and I liked our friendship. Well I woke up from it and saw that I had an email from the place that took Bella. Her ashes were read for me to pick up.
I got her this little blue metal urn with her name on it.
I cried when I got her home and just held her urn. Now I feel bad. Not like, bad in that way but the bad where my head hurts and it feels like the first day all over again.
I read on Reddit that people who had their pet ashes, had ghost pets. It would be cool if Bella was still around.
But something weird did happen when I got her back. Ella came running into my bedroom and smelled the part of the bed where Bella would always lay. She laid down a little bit away from it like when she’d lay next to Bella. With some space because Bella would paw at her if she got too close. Or she’d walk off and lay somewhere else near me that didn’t have Ella or Raspberry by her. A little later Raspberry crawled out of the bedroom like she would when she saw Bella.
Bella was the queen. When she walked into the room, everyone else needed to chill and stay out of her way. She was such a sweet girl. And one time when Raspberry was attacking Ella, Bella came running in and tackled Raspberry. She was a QUEEN!! The best cat I’ve ever had.
I miss Bella.
I don’t want to go to work. My boss was there yesterday and he said I could have taken the day off. I told her that I read some work stuff online and they said a leader shows up no matter what.
This will be my first Christmas in 15 years that I won’t have her. I have a photo of her with Christmas lights wrapped around her from a few years ago.
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