I was out in a very strange place. It was mountainous, not unlike Sedona.
I came into a group setting, again not unlike the one in Sedona. Except I was finding myself on the top of a bluff, in an old, worn down house made of adobe. The roof was gone- rotted away. There were tables and chairs, although weathered and aged, were still solid. There was no glass in the windows. It didn’t appear that there ever had been. We picked the place up and we’re repairing it, especially the roof.
I felt a certain animosity from the others. I had apparently drove there in my mini. At some point during our meal, another woman in the group acted out the animosity I felt by throwing something at my car. It was ostensibly a random act, but I felt it as an act out of the general dislike for me.
I went to my car to assess the damage. It had a big dent in the door. I inspected it and found that the outside and inside panels were separated, I could see right through to the inside of the car and a foam type insulation didn’t quite fit anymore between the panels. I brought up my phone to take a picture. I noticed then that one member of the group had joined me. She spoke about how she was a victim of the animosity and that it wasn’t fair. She wanted to know if my car was okay.
“I’m sure it will be fine.” I said, and I meant it. I felt that this was just a sort of test of some kind. And I would pass it because, I had an inexplicable love for people. Even ones that acted out unconsciously. I looked at her, and was surprised to recognize my friend from grade school, R. She looked at me with a passionate sort of adulation.
We left my car and went to a shady spot under some trees. There was some further discussion amongst the group. Some of us were doing martial art type movements independently or in small groups. That unspoken animosity was still present. I received some of the opinions of the group about it, directed at me. I didn’t feel personally attacked at all. I fully recognizeed their need to commit, and that their rough feelings had nothing to do with me. I was just safe to receive them. Neither did I feel higher than thou. I just had an awareness that it was so, and a certain kind of acceptance which allowed me to be without reaction to it. We sat down to rest afterwards. R sat with me and, after a moment of chatting, kissed me passionately.
I felt her passion and was curious in a very dispassionate way. I wondered if she wanted something or, if she was satisfied to merely give me a kiss. I felt an equanimity and my curiosity was very bemused. I felt at once that I loved her in a platonic universal way, and that I wouldn’t mind if she did want more.
Then I woke up.
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