6:43 pm
12/10/25
It has been 2 days since Bella was put down. Honestly I still feel like shit. And very ANGRY. Like, I’m mad that I have to go back to work. I want to say FUCK THAT PLACE! And take the point. But we have a raise coming up based on our work and if I don’t show up, I’ll get a shit ass raise.
I just want to be left alone, ya know?
I want to thank everyone that reached out via the comments section, but I think I’ll cry some more. Tuesday around midnight I got what a burger and on my way back, I started bawling my eyes out.
Sometimes I think I’ll see her out of the corner of my eye and I’ll quickly look over expecting to see her. Nope, it’s just a laid over lint roller that looked like her gray and white back that looked like a fish.
Or Ella walking out of the bedroom and standing where Bella would stand.
Taking a shit I’ll look to my left, expecting to see her walk in all, what are you doing in here without me???
The way she’d rub up against my legs while I’d stand in front of the bathroom sink getting ready for work. I’d tell her thanks for the energies. I need the energies from my baby Bella. I gotta go to work so we can have money for cat food and a place to live baby girl. I don’t want to go to work. How do I get rich? Time for you to do something to go viral and I’ll move us to some beach where we can have all the fish we want. And all the sand to play in. And poop.
It isn’t the same.
On top of that I’m still fighting this sinus infection. I just want to sleep. Let me sleep.
I know my boss won’t take my point off if I do not go in. I’m pretty sure that he did for everyone else that did but I’m not exactly anyone’s favorite.
I’m not like that little prick that unloads the trailers grabbing some girls ass.
I don’t suck up to anyone. I keep to myself.
The other managers are trash. They may be good at their job but they’re shit towards a lot of the basic people. It’s draining being around them.
I just want to stay home. I just want to stay home and sleep.
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