A lot has gone on, dynamics have shifted and changed. Hurts have healed, old wounds opened.
Mandy is still living with us and it is ver nice. She helps me around the house with cooking and cleaning, mostly cleaning as I am rather the slob. I love to cook but hate cleaning my kitchen! Mandy falls right in and takes care of business and it is great! We have been able to steal our time alone and that is blessed blissful swetness. Those moments alone, just her and I, pouring our souls out to each other over our coffee. I admitt I have fallen in love with this girl, but nothing romantically. It is strictly a love for her as if she were my little sister. My half sibling was 14 years older than I and we had not a damn thing in common. She hated me and I never knew why.
With Mandy I have opened my heart, soul and past to her and it feels good to have someone listen, accept and not judge.
And I hurt for her when she opens up and lets it all out about the hurt, the loss she has endured. I wish I could fix both of us.
Debbie has had shoulder surgery, not sure if that has been posted or not. Impinged nerve, torn tendon and cleaning up of bone spurs. Should was a bit of a mess, but she is healing well and returned to work today.
Debbie and I are getting along better, I think Mandy is a buffer between us. I have noticed a change in their relationship. Debbie is not wanting to be as controlling or “motherly like” towards her and that makes it all around better. And I think Mandy has explained to Deb about my true roots of being a submissive and I do not seem to get thatquestioning thing when I try to take care of everyone and do everything. It is much better!
I have had more than my share of aches and pains lately. My right knee is giving me the Devil! I seem to be taking more and more pain killers to deal with it. Yesterday was my first pain free pill free day in months! But last night I got sick to my stomach, bloating, nausea, sleeplessness. I ended up taking a whole Lorazepam to sleep and then only fell asleep at 4:00am. I texted my Boss to explain I would not be there as i was a wreck. He responded no problem. This is my first unexcused absence in 7 months, hopefully not a lot of trouble will come from this.
With the Holiday my blood sugars have been totally wacked out, much higher than normal and my insulin useage to attempt to controll then has skyrocketed. I must get better control, I have to!
Have not been riding my Harley as much with the cooling of morning temperature and rain. Today would have been great to ride, except it is raining. With the cool temps I ahve had to move my plants inside. My Fig and Coffee Tree are doing great as well as the Pineapple, but the Ficus is hating it with a slow drizzle of leaves screaming it hates being out of the sun and in the house.
I have been messaging my Grandson, Son, and Daughter-In-Law and it is noce to ahve the gentle contact and no conditions with it as Stephen would do. With them I do not feel manipulated, unlike Stephen. Stephen even had his girlfriend write me an email attempting to guilt me into a response and money, or at least giving them all mine and Debbie’s tax info and pertinent background finicial status. Far more than I think anyone needs to supposedly apply to a school. He told me he was more of a man than me 6 years ago, show me. Enough of this, don’t need this dragging me down today.
We went to the Boat Parade of Lights last Friday night and it was fun. The City looked beautiful and the boats were cool! I had a great burger and a delicious neat double of Glenfiddich 18 year old, yum!
Thanksgiving was a blast as Debbie’s Grandfather and mom were here. It was wonderful as we all just hung out, had a shot or two and stuffed ourselves on delicious food and family love.
And with this I close the page.
I wish everyone a peaceful and blessed day.
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