What exactly is it like to be poly? (In this economy, of all things!)
Well, it has its challenges, that's for sure. I've said it a million times; poly calendaring should be an Olympic sport. Balancing dates with "dates" and real life responsibilities - late work meetings, any of my theater stuff - can be really hard sometimes. I have double-booked myself on more than one occasion, which causes me no end of anxiety.
It can also be challenging when I talk about it to some of my Muggle friends. If I had a nickel for every time someone said to me, "I could never do that," I could afford a house. Bruh, I'm not trying to recruit you. Maybe try listening and asking questions instead of hitting me with some weird editorial. To be fair, I don't hear that very often anymore. Maybe it's because I have been "out" for a while and folks already know, so I don't have to explain it to them.
Being poly has also taught me a LOT about myself, how to honor my own boundaries, and especially those of others. Some of that is maturing and mellowing out over time, but a lot of it is because of the work that I have done in therapy and on my own to deprogram myself from some of the things I have been conditioned to believe as a male-bodied person.
Having more than one partner has been so eye-opening for me when it comes to relationship styles and my own attachment style. I continue to learn about how to balance relationships - not just with my partners, but with friends. lovers, and others as well.
I also learned...well, I should say, being poly reinforced for me, that my family is going to love me, no matter what.
A quick story: when I decided to out myself to my mom a couple of years back, I sent her a pic of me, N and E at a baseball game.
Me (sending the pic): Ma, I want to show you something. These are my partners.
(after watching those three dots flicker for what felt like an eternity...)
Ma: ...partners in crime?
Me: You could say that. They're my romantic partners, Ma.
Ma: And they know about each other?
Me: Ma, we're all in the pic together. Yes, of course they know about each other.
Ma: And they're okay with it?
Me: They are, Ma.
(the three dots again, than finally,,,)
Ma: Well, whatever rocks your boat, I guess.
My mom is infinitely cooler than yours. 😂
Anyway, this is sort of the short version, but being poly has been really good for me and has helped me grow as a person and hopefully as a partner. Most importantly, it feels comfortable, like it's who I am and should have been for years, but I just wasn't ready for it.
There's a lot more to it, but I want to say that I am open if you have questions. I would rather you ask and get a straight answer from me than make assumptions. I am by no means an authority on the subject and your mileage may vary, but I am happy to share my own experiences. Private notes are welcome.
Any other poly folks out there? What's it like for you? Have you had similar experiences?
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