6am on Wednesday. Sally and Pig Pen just left the Airbnb to travel back home.
They could not get out of here fast enough.
When I last left you, I was heading for my scans. They went off without a hitch. In fact, the IV placement was so easy, and the technicians were so lovely that I almost (almost) felt like I was at the spa with the warm blankets and the caring procedures.
But I was also feeling a way about my friend and her husband, and I was dreading the rest of the visit.
After the last entry, I got all prepped, and as I was leaving the Airbnb, I told my friend that I’d likely be home much later - after dinner - so she and Pig Pen were on their own for the whole day.
Fine.
I did my thing and then I took my time the rest of the day to treat myself well.
I went to my favorite park at sat on what I refer to as my “Cancer Bench”…it’s the bench where I discovered that my cancer was a later stage. I contemplated the rest of my life when I found out that I was going to need oncology and ongoing treatments.
I went to a fancy, fancy consignment store and found two pairs of beautiful pre-loved boots and a dress that was perfect for me. I spent a little more than maybe I should have with the way my job is going, but I also got a phone call from a company asking me if I was interested in an interview while I was in the dressing room, so I considered that a sign.
I walked around in the beautiful fresh air.
And then Sally texted me asking, “What’s for dinner?”
I messaged her back: “Haha. I told you that I’d be back after dinner.”
And that’s when her replies got short and snippy. She said simply “ok.”
So I gave her some suggestions for dinner spots and she was negative the whole time. All of that to say, I could tell she was mad that I wasn’t being the hostess with the mostest, and I realized that they were expecting me to HOST them…when the whole trip for me was simply an add-on to my medical week, and it was a bonus that I got to be with my childhood friend!
I realized that it was all a big misunderstanding - mostly by Pig Pen, who is a total misogynistic pig who expects to be waited on hand-and-foot.
I dragged out the drama by staying out extra “late”…which for me simply means that I stayed away until after dark. I knew I was going to have to have a conversation with Sally and Pig Pen.
When I got home with the dog, Sally was inside on the sofa but Pig Pen was outside and wouldn’t come inside. So I talked to her. I told her that I could tell that there was a misunderstanding here and that I’d told her I was going to be out all day and that I was never under the assumption that I would be the host of this shindig - and explained again that it was such a bonus to be here together, but my main purpose of the trip was to get my 4-year cancer clearance!
Did she understand? Maybe. She made some words come out…blamed it on her husband who has expectations and that he’s always like that and gives her a hard time too when she takes him to her home town. But that’s kind of different. I told her that I don’t live here anymore - and the Airbnb is not MY HOME. They were not my GUESTS. We are staying in the same place, but we are separate entities in this endeavor.
Yesterday, we were planning to go to this other place that was a 45-minute drive away (I wrote about it last entry). I left before they got out of bed to go to my doc appointment. Or maybe they were waiting for me to leave. I think that was the case.
The original plan was that they’d wait for me to go to the doc and we’d go there afterwards. Remember, I was trying to figure out how to drive separately?
So I made up some lame excuse that I had to take a phone call during the drive time and it would be best that I drove there by myself, and sent a text to Sally before I left my doctor appointment.
She answered simply, “ok”
But then I got a funny feeling. I remembered that I’d asked Sally to give me her location for this trip, so I got on FindMy, and saw that they were already there! They’d left without me anyway! They’d clearly quietly gotten ready to leave the second I left the house to go to my doc appointment.
So I just said that I could see they were already there, and I knew that they’d be kinda done with the touristy things, so there really was no use for me to drive all the way out there to meet them for a late lunch and then drive all the way back.
So she said, “ok”
That’s how the rest of the visit was. I went on with my day, taking the dog on the city trail and sipping coffee in places that I liked. We met back up at the end of the day for dinner.
It was cold but cordial. We had a last dinner at the same place we had dinner the first night we were here and then came back to the Airbnb where they rushed around packaging and getting ready to GTFO of here.
This morning, they could not get out of here fast enough! I could not wait for them to go. Is that terrible?
My conclusion, after observing Sally for the last several days is that…this is going to sound terrible, but…she has not evolved one bit since our childhood. She is the same little girl. She has the same humor. She loves little toys and little frilly things and candy and goofy childhood humor. And all of that was fun when we were kids, but she is literally the same girl I knew back then.
And she has a very “trad” marriage with her MAGA husband. She takes care of him as if he’s a baby and he eats it up and acts macho all the time. He is diabetic and she’s always running around making sure he has enough candy and sweets in order to take care of him every moment. She babies him…and tried to baby me some of the time and it was almost infuriating to me.
And it was clear that no shits were given about my cancer stuff or my parents (both Sally and Pig Pen have lost their parents). I have a whole other entry about my parents!
But this morning, before 6am, I could hear them rustling and we said the fastest goodbyes. No I love yous, no thank yous - just goodbyes and safe travels.
Am I sad? A little, because I care so much and I know how hard keeping friends can be, but honestly, I realize that this friendship is something that I don’t necessarily have to keep alive. We had it when we were kids. We are different now.
Will I keep Sally and Pig Pen as facebook friends? Sure! But will I keep them at arms length from here on? Probably. Is that ok? Absolutely.
But that’s over.
Now I have to focus on my oncology appointment today. I’ll take Martini to daycare probably until about noon and then I’m thinking of going back to my parents place for lunch. It’s not on my way home, but it could be good for all of us.
More later.
XO
GS
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