Heading out to Mom and Dad’s in a little bit. 3+ hours there and 3+ hours back. I’m waiting for storms and rains to blow through, but I think I’m going to have to drive through some thunderstorms at some point on my drives.
I don’t enjoy these drives, but long podcasts make them better. Martini hates these long-ass drives, but I can’t leave her at home for so long and my daycare changed up their hours during the weekend so I can’t take her there and I don’t want to leave her with a Rover sitter today. We stop hourly to stretch our leggies and pee. Good thing she looooves to see my mom and my mom loves her back (though these days I’m not always as sure…), so she perks up when we get into their neighborhood.
Apparently, now all Mom wants to do is eat, sleep, and watch TV. Dad recently bought a new car and wanted to take her out for a drive and to dinner (like a cute little date), and she agreed, but halfway to the place, Dad said she acted like she didn’t want to go anymore, so they stopped at a local diner and had their dinner.
I wish I had some exciting things to report. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of taking inventory in my life and how long it’s going to take for me to have enough savings to retire. And the fact that if I never leave the house, I’ll never find community here. None of it is for lack of trying, but I know I can take more and better action.
How do I work smarter, not harder?
I get excited about the dating apps, go on a couple of dates, and then drop the whole thing because it’s sooooo annoying.
I schedule brunches with friends, but I missed August because I’m not partnering with someone else to help push the planning (miss you, [Athena]). And nobody fucking invites me to anything, so it becomes a thing that falls on my shoulders. I’m not mad that nobody else takes initiative like I do - I know if I don’t do it, nobody will and that’s fine - but if I DON’T do it… it simply won’t happen!
I network for new jobs, but it’s a LOT of work, and I want to make things feel and sound genuine, so it takes a lot of mental energy to strategize how to approach someone (I know, I’m overcomplicating things - it shouldn’t have to be so hard, but it IS! And applying for jobs takes at least an hour to do, since I’m now taking the time to tailor my resume to fit the job each time.
Yes, I’ve discovered how to use AI to get my resume to match each job description closely, but then, of course, you have to take the AI suggestion and tweak it to make it more “you”. So every edit and update takes brainpower energy and by the time I’m done crafting a personalized resume, answering questions thoughtfully, and creating a cover letter that’ll WOW the hiring manager, I’m WIPED.
And of course, work at the Cool Cat Company is a fucking JOKE. I told you that Kitty Cat (CEO) is leaving, right? And they are not going to replace her position! But clearly Head Cat doesn’t understand what she does nor what I do, so he listens to the fucking BitchKitty (fractional COO) who keeps throwing me under the bus over and over and over again.
I insisted that she meet with me, one-on-one, so that I could once again walk her through my process and explain everything, but she doesn’t give a rat’s ass, so why should I? She is the one who took part in squeezing out Kitty Cat, and she’s going to do it with me too. Because I’m a threat to her. She knows that I know she doesn’t know SHIT about this business and I call her out on her bullshit. She knows I hate her because she’s bamboozled Head Cat and collects an INSANE paycheck because of it (it’s well over twice what I make, and she does it on a fractional basis…which means she’s screwing other companies over as well). I have everything I do organized and in one place and have shown her half a dozen times, and she STILL lies and acts like I’m the one who doesn’t have my shit together. But they’ll find out when I leave. I can’t wait. I just need to get the next gig.
WHY do I try SO FUCKING HARD?! Only to get so disappointed? By everyone. And everything.
OK. Gotta go mentally prepare for my road trip today.
xox,
GS
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