A pineapple guava here in someone’s front yard. The flowers are apparently edible, as is the fruit. Native to Columbia and Brazil I bet this tree/shrub would make someone homesick coming across it on a neighborhood stroll in Portland, Oregon. Maybe you could think of our collective front plantings as a big unruly botanical garden. One lately with bright orange crocosmia a little out of control.
I taught my first in person class in 5 ½ years this last week. I was nervous. It is a whole other thing. And on top of this it was a room full of about 17 people, only one of which I kind of, sort of, know. It worked out. It was a shortened class; more of a getting to know you open house class thing and about half men. That was kind of cool. My weekday morning class has become an all women class, not by design, but by default.
Amazingly, they laughed at my jokes and did what I told them too… pretty much. There was some unruly behavior in the back as I was wrapping it up with a discussion about logistics but isn’t there always unruly behavior in the back? Something I now remember for before the pandemic. It is an in-person class thing.
It is one of the two main reasons I got hearing aids. So that I could hear the side comments in the back of the room.
Social anxiety is a bear though. Even though I have no specific reason to feel this way my confidence levels took a hit this week and I have spent the last few days shoring that back up. It is both a vulnerability thing and a recognition of limits thing. I even asked Claude, the AI about recommendations for shoring up banged up confidence levels. There wasn’t anything new to me in its response, but it was helpful to be reminded that I had options.
No joke, I seriously need to focus on energy management now though. Adding an 8th class. And they are moving the League board meetings to another day I have two classes. It will be a bit easier because I actually have an hour and a half between the time the class ends and the board meeting begins, unlike this last year where there was no break.
The ants are still an issue. I may have to go for the Terro after all. This is all around Carlo’s food. I could float his plate in a pie tin of water. I have done that before. I have never had the incursion last this long. In the meantime, I am using Windex and White Vinegar. And as Carlo gets older, he is getting pickier about his food. It is frustrating. I understand. But I hate being wasteful and there is an element of that here. I am not going to be able to buy his food in cases anymore.
First ripe cherry tomatoes in the plot a few days ago just as the blueberries are winding down. First Love-In-The-Mist flowers too. The wind did a number of most of the sweet pea flowers, but I am getting a lot of seed for next season. Trying not to be sad the flowers were so fleeting this year.
Have you noticed that the news lately is completely insane?
What have we wrought?
I am trying not to focus on it too much. We have had some deep discussions in class this week, technically after class, about our relationship with anger. One of the things I noticed was that good folks give themselves a hard time about how they manage anger.
It is kind of like how good folks have been known to talk about love. I was such a fool… that sort of thing. One of my students checked in the next day and said that it was rare to have an intense exploration of anger and end up smiling.
That helps with the confidence equation. That people feel they are benefiting from what I put out there day in and day out.
That’s something I guess.
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