The 9th Beatitude in Essays

Has been on my mind before just now, as it is in Thomas Mayor’s ground breaking book Covid Vaccines from a Spiritual Perspective, in which he suggests to pray the 9th Beautitude for the vaccinated deceased.

The Ninth Beautitude (Matthew 5:11-12)
Blessed are you when they reproach and persecute you, and falsely say every wicked word against you, for My sake.
Rejoice and be glad, because your reward in the heavens is great. For in this way they persecuted the prophets who were before you

I was so strongly reminded of the Ninth after witnessing my Sadness. Before the following recorded exploration, I had felt stymied by my Sadness. I could not focus on this part (Sadness) without it fleeing. Instead of calling my Sadness to me, I tried something new. I would seek out the Sadness, wherever she was.

“I want to be where you are: I love you”

Sadness: ” I am in darkness…”

I follow her there. It is very dark. Things stir; they slither and slide past. I feel curious about them, but my attention returns to Sadness.
Sadness is here, in the dark. With these things. She isn’t wanted. She’s been rejected, thrown out, reviled, persecuted. The images I see imaginatively; a turning away, disgust from my mom(God), revulsion of emotional expression, vicious false projections. Pain, loneliness, suffering, of which I participated in and perpetuated myself in continuing the trauma pattern.

Blessed are you when they reproach and persecute you, and falsely say every wicked word against you, for My sake.
Rejoice and be glad, because your reward in the heavens is great. For in this way they persecuted the prophets who were before you

Her reward is indeed, in Heaven, and she goes there now: Sadness does. I go, too, following her as I was, as I declared my love for her. I feel a door has opened for me; something profound has come through; transmitted in the moment of willing seeking into the darkness, of following through in that dense place of being utterly rejected from the light of consciousness. I feel a welling of love even as the door into Heaven is revealed to me- it is through this Sadness- through loving and following this beloved to where she had been lost. It came through in the willingness to embody the good shepherd who retrieves every lost lamb no matter how far it has wandered and how far gone it seems to have been.

Another level of beingness descends into my body.