For some reason, the last week just took a toll on me. Here’s the recap:
Sunday: was Mother’s Day. Dropped Martini off at doggy daycare 15 minutes later than I wanted (7:15am instead of 7 on the dot), which put me a few minutes later on the drive. I was meeting mom and dad at their church because they were serving brunch after the service and that was helpful. That meant no logistics of going somewhere separately and no $$$ spent on a fancy-pants brunch. I showed up right at 10:30 during the sermon. This church now has so few members (country church and the congregation is slowly aging and dying) that it's no biggie to show up late. Brunch was lovely afterwards, and mom was in good spirits. We went back to their house afterwards and of course my bro had been out getting tipsy at the brewery, but he wasn't a total dick (thank goodness), just his normal non-helping self. We ignored him, basically. As I was leaving, dad walked me out and told me again how mom is declining and he's suffering. I always ask if they need more in-home care, and he said no. And I've asked if they want me to be closer and see them more, and he said no. He just doesn't know what to do. Thing is, all of this is just natural aging, though I do wish they'd eat better and move more. It's just not going to happen - ever. They are slowing to a halt, though dad is still doing things like buying lawn mowers and fixing things...things my BROTHER should do, but he lets my dad keep doing. Honestly, things like that really do keep my dad alive, though. It's such a conundrum. He wants to do those things. I wish he'd do some therapy. That might help. I've looked up services and groups for him, and he doesn't seem to want to take action in that way. Anyway, fairly status quo at their house. I drove home listening to random podcasts this time since Blink has slowed down with their episode releases.
Monday: A scramble in the morning to get my act together to have a meeting with Head Cat. During my rush, I got a super nasty email from a woman who'd been doing some brand consulting for the company. Apparently, her exit was rough as she'd been on retainer for months and months and had only produced one document that was, in my estimate, a 40-hour project yet it took her eight months?! Anyway, I'd reached out to her about a question I had about her work, and her email was 1000% bitchy and then she told me never to contact her again and copied Kitty Cat (our CEO). WTF! I asked CEO if it was something I'd said?? Because we'd been told that we could reach out to her with questions. Long, long story, I honestly think she wanted my job. I understand she'd badmouthed me and our COO to Head Cat and Kitty Cat. The weird thing is that Kitty Cat said that it was a terrible exit and yet, I see Kitty Cat still liking and commenting on this woman's posts on IG??? Like they are close, personal friends? I'm confused. This is a long-winded way of saying that I no longer trust anyone at this company. I'm watching my back. Not a good sign at all. THEN, later that evening was Pickleball. Remember, I was worried that these people would be nasty to my already-brused ego? It turned out fine. Everyone was nice, but I WAS out of practice and not good. Ha! My two teammates are super, super sweet, but I worry that their patience may run out if I don't get better. We played this team of gentlemen - two of which were really nice and then two others were clearly not there to goof around (ugh), but I feel like I got a good refresher as well as a reminder that Pickleball is a very quirky game.
Tuesday: Had to get up insanely early to drop off Martini at daycare, then get a blood draw at 7:30am before making my way downtown to have my squamous cell skin cancer lesion removed from my right forearm. My first stressor of the day was the blood draw because I'm such a difficult stick, but all of my worry was for naught. I got the luck of the phlebotemist draw that morning FOR SURE! After I peed in a cup, handed her a cup full of warm pee and then told her that I required a butterfly needle and somewhat special treatment for the blood draw, she took all of 30 seconds to gently feel for a good vein and then find it on the first stick! She became my absolute best friend in that moment! I wanted to hug her when I left, but I told myself to calm down and just ask her name so I could leave a good review. Sadly, I forgot her name the moment it entered my ears. I still want to leave a good review for her and remember her name so I can request her next time. I've tried to look her up, but Quest Diagnostics is so impersonal that I can't find anyone's names? Anybody know how to do this? Then I went to the dermatologist. The procedure was very straightforward, but they seemed to take a larger chunk of skin than I was envisioning. They have to get aggressive with skin cancer and make sure they have pretty wide margins to get it all. The stitching together was a weird sensation as well. I could feel the doc pulling the stitches SO TIGHT. When I took my bandage off later, it looks so funny - like he gave my wrist a facelift, ha! I know it will heal together nicely, but it looks so deformed right now. Anyway, that little procedure seemed to take something out of my soul. By late afternoon, I was supposed to be working, but I had to lie down. I slept for three hours! And I have been sort of out of it for the rest of the week!
Wednesday: Was somewhat out of it ALL DAY. I suppose my body just felt like I needed a rest and recovery day. Again, this surgery was minor compared to so many other medical procedures I've had in that past, but whoa. My body was like, nope. On this day, I started to get all of the blood test results back from Quest. EXCELLENT levels on all tests until you get to my cholesterol!! I've never, ever, EVER had high cholesterol, but apparently, when a woman hits menopause and loses weight, the hormones go wacky. My thyroid is also out of balance, but not super out of the normal range. When my PCP reported back to me, he told me that he wasn't concerned with my cholesterol or my thyroid because "they are both close to normal" and he's "seen a lot worse" (!!!!). This is yet another reason why I need to switch doctors. He dismisses my concerns! Y'all. He dismissed my COLON CANCER as "probably hemorrhoids" back in the day!! What am I still doing with this guy?! I mean, he is a personal friend, but I need to find a new internist STAT! I don't remember what I did the rest of the day because my body just went bleeaaaahhhhahhhhhgggghhhh... after all that.
Thursday: Super busy with work. Still out of it. Honestly, I just looked back at my daily planner and I don't think I did anything besides work and play around with a couple of new recipes. I'm trying to perfect a healthy protein bagel recipe I've seen floating around on socials and Pinterest (really good!) as well as a hummus recipe that [Athena] inspired me to work on. And [Ylime] is helping me perfect! Look at the PB/IG social connections helping out yet again!
Friday: Another totally OUT OF IT day! Had a long Zoom call with Kitty Cat which seemed to take a lot out of me again. After our call I did more sleuthing and the more I dig, the more unsettled I am about every single person I'm working with right now. This is an emergency. Yet, I didn't have the energy all week to get more career-shifting balls rolling. Everything is a band-aid right now, but I must get my energy back up to get moving along. I also looked around the apartment at some of the disarray. I have lots of work spread out all over my dining room table, my kitchen is a mess, and even my bedroom and storage have gotten out of hand. It all keeps me from focusing. I'm working on that today (Sunday) after I get this entry finished and take Martini on our long walk.
Saturday: As my Sedona girls trip is fast approaching, I needed to get the boarding situation straightened out for Martini. So I'd searched the Rover app and found someone who looked like a really good fit for our needs - 5 days/nights of boarding in early June. I scheduled a test drive for a daycare day just to see how Martini might fit in with her pack. This woman seems super educated on dogs, but my concern was that she has a lot of cats too, and Martini goes insane over cats. I took Martini over early and the woman met me outside. She is covered in tattoos from her neck down. Beautiful face, ginormous rack, and voluptuous hips. Looks like a porn star, quite honestly. But as long as she takes good care of my baby, all is fine with me! Martini and Porn Star took a liking to each other immediately, and PS just about talked my ear off about the day she was planning for Martini and how she would slowly integrate her into the pack - including with the cats. I was a little leery, but I let her do her thing, praying that all would be okay, and off I went on my day. I told her to contact me any time if things got too rough with the cat/dog situation. But lo and behold, she kept me updated with reports and photos of Martini and the other dogs (I think she found a way for Martini and the cats to co-exist fairly peacefully. She said Martini is mainly just curious). I took myself out for a day downtown and ended with taking myself to a nice dinner at a restaurant I've been wanting to try for a while. I picked Martini up at the end of the day, and we have found our sitter! I'm so glad that's working out because I was worried about finding her a good boarding situation. As I was driving away, Porn Star's boyfriend/fiance came outside: Mr. Porn Star. He's covered in tattoos as well and def looks like a porn dude. Interesting. As long as they are taking good care of the babies, all is good!
Today: Still slowly sipping my coffee and writing this long-ass entry! I feel like I'm caught up and can now get on with breakfast, walkies, and then organization! Like I said above, I'm feeling so unorganized and just need to spend the afternoon getting at it. So there's no better time than right now. Off we go!
xox,
GS
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