13 weeks, 4 days. in A New Beginning to an Old Story.

On Thursday i was 13 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I had an appointment at the hospital to do the testing for any disabilities. I brought my mom with my because my boyfriend had an important training course for work that day but I was excited to bring him pictures. The tech was really nice and she made me feel good but she took a break and said she needed to talk to the doctor. The doctor came in and continued the ultrasound, only to turn to me and tel me he has bad news. My baby wasn't as big as it should of been and it looked like it stopped growing at 11 weeks and had heart failure... it's heart had stopped. I made him double and triple check.. but the baby was not moving and looked so small. I broke down and so did my mom. Like what do you even do? They called my doctor and then told me to go home and call my doctor to go over the options. So yesterday a lady from the Early Pregnancy Loss program at the hospital called me and gave me options but its been so hard waiting so she scheduled me in for a d&c on Tuesday. Argh. I woke up this morning with cramps and bleeding so I don't know wtf is happening. I'm so heart broken, and so is my boyfriend. But he's been amazing and reassuring me that this is just lifes way of telling us its too early, gives us time to really get ready and prepared so that when we do have a baby, it will be 100x better. I'm trying to be positive, it just really, really, hurts. I guess I take it one day at a time....