I am 37 and I know that I should have always been taking care of my body from when I was young. The paradox of youth is that you worry about shit you don’t need to and are blissfully ignorant of the things you do need to worry about because “you’re not there yet.” It will come with time. Those are worries for those at older ages. Well surprise. You eventually turn that age.
The ailments I am dealing with right now are in retrospect not that big of a deal. But they are annoying. Its all skin stuff. I know that I am fat and need to loose weight. In between my fat folds I am growing yeast, and I have jock itch that I got from my husband not long ago. The thing with yeast and fungi is that they are stubbornly hard to get rid off. It can take up to 6 weeks of treatment. I am sick of it.
I have been treating it on and off and it seems like it just keeps coming back. I feel disgusting, ashamed, and unsexy. I try to offset that by putting on make up and dressing up pretty, and no, this isn’t something that is visible, but I know I have it. And I hate it. I want it gone. Again, this is pretty petty in the scheme of concerns when it comes to what could potentially be really wrong.
Sigh.
Among other things I am pretty content. My brother got married recently. Him and his new wife are going to try for kids via IVF. I am really hoping that they get lucky just the first time around. My brother has been through so much and he has such a testimony to share of his life. I am pretty sure that this is meant to be.
My niece is graduating from nursing. She will be the third nurse in the family, and the second generation. I will be going to her college state at the end of April to see her walk. To say that I am proud is an understatement. I have kind of taken on second parent role since the death of her father, and she fills my heart with love that is akin to what I have for my children, but special in her own way.
My parents are in good health. They are strong. They are thriving. My mom will be turning 70 this week and this is a blessing that not a lot of people get. So I know I am lucky.
Except for my husband finally finding Christ, all things are pretty good. I could use 100k for some bills, but other than that, every thing is great. I keep writing here because my mental health demands it. For those of you who struggle with depression, please know that journaling, whether it be here or just in private on paper or on your computer, journaling is a great way of letting out thoughts and emotions that pile up inside of you and steer you the wrong way.
Much love and luck to all those struggling with mental health. I am with you.
Loading comments...