Sad/upset/mad/disappointed/scatterbrained entry. in 2014
- Nov. 11, 2014, 2:57 p.m.
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- Public
We’ve done nothing but fight for the last few days. :(
Yes, over the same shit. I don’t help out, I don’t pay the bills so I get no say about pretty much everything…
It seems as tho the more I work, the less he appreciates me?
He wants me to be a stay at home mom. And I was… then I started with the photography and the more I’ve done it, the more hes been upset. He wants to work, he wants to rule the roost, he wants all the income to be his… or something… so it seems. Anything but that causes him to hate me.
Hes anything less than helpful. Hes pretty much useless as a dad now. Hes been edging himself out for the last few years. This is what he does. He sees how much he can get away with. He helps a little less here, helps a little less there, parents a little less here, parents a little less there. He tests the waters and then once he sees me handling everything that he stops doing, its officially my job. Like as of right now, hes down to only doing the dishes (once a fucking week) and putting the garbage out. Even then, I’m the only one who does that!
So basically we are both working pretty much full time, but during my almost full time job, I also have two kids, a house, kids in karate, kids in dance, and all those extra things to deal with. He has to work, and come home. I fucking WISH I could go to work and come home and that would be that.
I always say to him that I will go out and get a full time job, not that I don’t have one but I ask if he will respect me more if I had a job that took me out of the house for 8 hours a day. But basically I would be working to pay for daycare. But then I also told him that we would be splitting the house chores up a little more too. If we are both pulling 8 hour shifts, it should just be known that half of the chores are now his. However you and I both know that this isn’t what would happen. I would still have everything I do now, plus another full time job. So essentially all I would be doing would be adding another 8 hours to my already busy day.
I can’t win.
I guess I just feel like a single mom who owns a house and a business. He barely comes around, the kids hardly know him, and he knows basically nothing about them either… If I’m going to be alone, I might as well just BE alone. I can clearly do this on my own, and it would be much easier if I didn’t have someone constantly letting me down.
Same shit, different day.
Kristen :(
Hotaru ⋅ November 11, 2014
Why is it that men are stuck in the 1940s? They think their wife should take care of all the household chores and the kids, but then they expect us to work full time and bring in an income too.
goddess ⋅ November 13, 2014
Sorry to hear it's still not good with him. :(
I would guess that the reason he gets bitchy about you working is that if you're contributing to the income, he can't use the "I pay the bills, so you have to do all the house work" excuse.
Mrs.Kristen.Canon goddess ⋅ November 17, 2014
Precisely
Lacrime di Drago ⋅ November 16, 2014
I guess I'm lucky. DH actually does most of the chores. Being a new step dad and never having had kids, I think he takes a pretty big role in the girls. He certainly worries more about if he is doing the whole parent thing right than I do. I'm currently unemployed and should be doing at least most of the household chores. But we split them. I keep the budget and pay the bills. .. other than that I have no chores. Maybe it's all those years of living on his own. Maybe it's that I've learned that when people live in a house is not going to stay spotless. I'm not sure. But in any relationship, I don't think that records should be kept about who does what. It's OUR money, it's OUR house, it's OUR chores. The only hard thing is getting the kids to realize that being a part of a family means taking care of each other and it's everyone's job to take care of the house.